Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Olympic Wannabees


Guess what I found in Vancouver?
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Lucas: Hey, I recognize that voice.  It’s that guy.  The voice of God. 
T O’B: Yes, it’s the guy you think sounds like God (Morgan Freeman.) I think God sounds like James Earl Jones.
Lucas: But no matter what we agree that God is black right?
T O’B: Oh ya.  Definitely.

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Maureen had Stacey’s coffee machine in her hands as she was leaving Sean and Stacey’s the other night when Bailey said “Hey! That’s Mom’s coffee machine!” and Mo replied “Yea, aren’t you glad I didn’t go up to your room tonight?”
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The Girls were over at Mo’s the other day and when playing in the snow was suggested Bailey calmly responded “Oh I don’t know.  I am kind of a fan of being warm.” 
Rach and I took a last minute trip up to the Olympics on Saturday.  We left at 4 am which meant that we were the only ones at the border.  The security guy took the liberty to entertain himself with a multitude of questions including what we did for a living.  I told him I was unemployed and after perusing my passport pointed out “You sure have been to a lot of places.  How did you manage that?”  Me: “Well I’m not ALWAYS unemployed.” Security: “I just have one more question. You’re a PT? Can you tell me what I should do about my hamstring?”  So basically we couldn’t leave until Rach gave some medical advice.  Not that he was abusing his power at all. 
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We were looking for a place to eat breakfast and discovered a packed (restricted) restaurant filled with Olympians.  We spend the whole day whispering “Olympian, Not Olympian” and I’m sure we were correct every time.  A sweet couple who ran a hotel gift shop started our day off on the right foot.  First they mentioned that they had official Olympic mittens.  I immediately said we both wanted them (even though Rach didn’t understand the value at the time) and then for the rest of the day people were jealous of our mittens (even in the 60 degree sunny weather).  They actually told us they were jealous and asked us where to get them.  This wasn’t one of those Tiffany thinks everyone is jealous of her moments.  In fact while we were on the train these ladies asked us multiple questions about the mittens, where to get them, how long we were in town and then as they were leaving slipped in “and what hotel room are you staying at?” 
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The sweet couple also drew us a map of Vancouver and then highlighted the route in red of where the 6 dollar all day parking was.  After we parked, we asked another hotel concierge (my go-to knowledge bank when I’m in a foreign land) about the bus schedule and how to get to the stadium.  She made some phone calls and wrote down the line we were supposed to take.  As we were looking around a seemingly homeless, but perhaps just scraggily gentlemen explained that we weren’t looking for a bus, we were looking for a train.  When we found the train and bought the tickets we were never asked to produce the evidence of our purchase.  I asked a Canadian later that day what was up with the trains and she explained that they use THE HONOR SYSTEM.  At one point they thought about putting a turn style but figured people are generally good and they’ll do the right thing.  I was easily counting up the reasons why NYC will never host the Olympics.     Oh I had never seen Canada without the rest of the continent but when I saw the below picture all I could think was America’s Hat!
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When we got to the curling event we tried to sell our extra ticket and we got “You’re not a very good business person are you? And do you baby-sit?”  There was also a guy selling American, Chinese and Canadian Flags. At this point we still knew nothing about curling, who or how many were competing nor did we know if “playing” was an acceptable term—but we certainly couldn’t ASK anyone.  “Hi there! What’s all the commotion about? Is there some kind of event going on? Oh! The Olympics you say? What’s that?”    Luckily, there was a guy from Great Britain who sat next to us and explained curling until we were able to smack talk him.  The people from Sweden were decked out (no matter if they were in the street or in the stands) with full make up and wigs—just excited to be there.  Which made me feel bad for them when they forfeited to the Russians when they were behind by 9 points—who gives up at the Olympics?  I mean you’ve come all this way you might as well finish right?  Maybe they had some where to be. 
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At one point the wave started in the stands and the GBR guy said “Oh. This is SO American” and in between my WHEEEEEEEEEE’s I discussed the merits of such an awesome practice.  Oh there was also a conversation while we were watching that went like this
There is an Olympian here…
Where?
There is an Olympian here that is pregnant.
Want to take mean guess as to which one it is?

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Did I mention that the US won in overtime against GBR? J
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Later as we were walking in the street a woman stopped in her tracks, grabbed her boyfriend and pointed to the ground saying “Look! Look!” And then I heard another passerby say “That’s what we here in Canada like to call a Pine Cone.”
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Me holding two coffee’s one hand and the Olympic Flame in the other—Typical day for T.
In an atypical day… I had a very traumatic, life threatening day on Friday.  As I was switching the fish into a clean fish bowl, the fish accidently fell down the drain.  Luckily there is a garbage disposal.  Not liking the idea of touching said fish (or any fish) I grabbed a ladle, filled it with water and then scooped the fish into the ladle and then into the new bowl.  By the time I got back on Sunday the fish was dead.  Sorry Nate.  And sorry this is how I told you. 
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For all of my pictures both epic and not epic you can see them here:

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