Break It Big

I find it infinitely ironic that the first two people to see my car when it arrived in Seattle, would be the last two people to see my car.  The saab got into a bit of an accident yesterday when a young chippy decided to make a U-turn in front of me and forgot to look or yield before she pulled out in front of me.  In retrospect my memory of the event was very Hollywood in its unexpected, yet perfectly cut scenes of seeing the car, hitting the breaks, and then ever so suddenly noticing that both air bags have made an appearance and perhaps I should try to get the car over to the side of the road.  I couldn’t get the key out of the ignition, nor could I shut the car off so the firemen we nice enough to saw through the hood so they could cut the battery.  The EMT assured me that there was no salvaging the hood anyway right before he said “this is a pretty sweet saab convertible you have here.” And I replied, “It was.” 

Because I’m a lil shook up, bruised and banged I’m going to just give you some highlights of the weekend and ask you to bear with me. 

So recaps of the weekend!  Went to see Alice in Wonderland—for which I actually sewed part of my costume.  I figured if Dawne could spend 5 days on a hat I could sew a couple of hearts on my shirt.  I also made Zach and Jordan’s presents so you could say I’m really occupying my time well.  

Could I look any shorter in this picture?  I was waiting for the car in this outfit when someone asked me if I was a playboy bunny, to which I immediately replied “Not yet.”

On pawn shops:

T  O’B: I don’t like going into pawn shops.  They always make me sad, like someone had to give up something the loved because they were desperate for cash.

Luke: Yea I’m sad and then I’m like YAY! I got a new thing!

On conversations Matty has overheard on buses:

Young lady to her boyfriend: Don’t worry honey you have lots of things in common with my dad.  You both love Guns n Roses.  And you both have spent exactly three years in prison…

On waking up with a song stuck in your head:

Fuck you, Black Eyed Peas.  How do you know that tonight’s going to be a good good night?

On Vegas Hotels:

Lucas: Who do you think would win in a fight the Imperial Palace or the Excalibur?

T O’B: The Excalibur has well, the Excalibur so I’m pretty sure it would win.

Lucas: What about the Flamingo?

T O’B: See there, they have a great flock of birds on their side—but I will give you that between the Imperial Palace and the Riviera the Imperial Palace could do some damage. 

On embarrassing Zach’s girlfriend:

Nate: These rooms have pull out couches, maybe Zach and Kate could just sleep in here with us.

Dawne: That was my original plan. I was trying to protect Kate’s honor.

Jordan: You’re welcome Zach. 

(You can fill in a picture here of Kate’s mortification.)

Nate: Now see I thought I would be the one to embarrass Kate. 

On who likes who:

Kate: I think your mom likes me but I’m not sure about Tiffany.

Zach: Did you think she was funny?

Kate: Yes.

Zach: Than she likes you.

On seeing a bride and groom taking pictures

Luke: Ah True love! The second best reason for getting married.

T O’B: What’s the first?

Luke: Pregnancy

(did I mention the bride was with child?)

I also won Nate’s dignity on Friday night.  We figured it was worth about a dollar.  I’m thinking about having it framed with a lil plaque in case he needs to find it one day. 

While in the airport we needed to get up stairs and there was a big line for the escalator so everyone with me decided to use the stairs.  I went to follow but Dawne told me that with my injured foot I better take the escalator.  Unknowingly, I was later spotted on the escalator with arms crossed and lower lip thrust out to which Dawne hollered down to me “Now, now.  There’s no need to pout.  I’m up here waiting for you.” 

I got into a lengthy discussion with Shane over whether or not New York was a part of America.  He was pretty adamant that it was not.  When he substantiated his argument by saying that New York and London were above and beyond any country in culture and environment—so I conceded maybe that is a band wagon I can jump on. 

I’ve gotta run and try to empty out the trunk of my car.  Pam seems to think it’s not good that I have a bottle of gin in my roadside emergency bag.  And then maybe I’ll make a doctor’s appointment for this headache.  *sigh* I liked it better when I had a headache b/c I didn’t like the taste of Nevada water and just continuously drank alcohol. 

Who wants to go out for St. Patrick’s Day next week? B/c I do.  LMK