Building a Bad Reputation

Hi Friend,

I told Dawne about the miner’s and she said, “Okay do you young people or…” I really should have been clearer.

Here’s the problem with me not getting my act together until Thursday.  Those people in my inner circle who only get their news from me have no idea what is going on in the world three days longer than they need to.   In summary…

I know, the real news is that Courtney and David split up. 

This might come as a shock to many of you, but I do not roll out of bed gorgeous and cheerful.  (Should I have asked you to sit down before I laid that on you?)  In fact, if you can stretch your imagination to the opposite of those two adjectives you’ll start getting a picture of what I looked like last Tuesday when I came down stairs to find that I needed to move my car.  I walked outside (in my jamjam’s) to find 6 hot EMT’s in my drive way saying “Oh you found the keys!” When I did move the car they all swarmed closer to make fun of the guy driving the ambulance with me.  I know Uncle Ray had an incredibly terrible morning but I can’t say that mine was all that bright either. 

As Aunt Pat was running out of the house I asked her if she wanted me to drive her to the hospital and she said “No just take care of Shorty, she’s a wreck.”  I was like “You’re a wreck, how’s about I take care of you?”  But nooooooo.  I got the dog instead.  I took Shorty with me to lunch.  She climbed up onto the seat, and since I had the top down, she stuck her head out the window.  Unfortunately, the wind must have been too much b/c they she proceeded to sneeze all over my car (good thing I carry that Maguire stuff in my car.)  Shana and Melissa were super understanding but I’m getting awfully worried that Nala is starting to give me a bad reputation. 

(I know.  Nala is 3 pounds now.  She’s ginormous.)

Diana got a new kitten.  She posted a picture of the new kitten and I immediately asked for a side by side of her new kitten and her other cat.  I thought these images were so incredibly hilarious that after I wiped the tears of joy away, I immediately wanted to share that joy with you.

This is the Baby Kitten Tundra:

This is a Baby Tiger:

This is Titan:

Dawne and I pulled up to pick up Luke from the Park and Ride like every day only to have a parking lot security guard “run” up to us and tell us that we needed to move.  Dawne, immediately and quickly, said this is ridiculous and jumped out of the car to get Luke.  The guard told her she had to walk around the parking deck instead of straight to Luke b/c the buses are really fast in this area.  Knowing that he was a liar she looked at him with a gaze that screamed “I can totally out run you” but in a moment of sanity, chose to walk around.  Angry at being told what to do, she inquired further on the other side only to find out that there was a possible bomb in one of the buses and they were evacuating the area.  When Dawne got back to the car she was shocked.  Not because of the bomb but due to the fact that she had no idea she had such a deep dislike for authority figures.  Still appalled by her behavior while I participated in mocking said behavior we suddenly were cut off by a bus as the driver yelled out to us “ya’ll better get the hell out of here quick before we all get blown up!”  Maybe not the best day to have my top down?

We went to see the Social Network and then at dinner on Saturday we ruined it for Rach and Diana who hadn’t seen the movie by not only discussing it but describing every detail of the movie.  Sorry Ladies, but to be fair, Jordan did most of the talking. 

My 5 year old nephew Kyle walked into my parents house wearing a size one long sleeved Albany shirt that, while it fit his body, the sleeves were now up to his elbows.  My mother tried to suggest that perhaps it was about time he found another shirt.  His older brother Patrick looked between the two combatants and said, “Don’t bother.  He’s never giving that thing up.”  That same week Kevin (the 6 and ½ year old) came out of his room wearing 18 month sized shorts saying “Hey, they were in my drawer so they’re mine.”  When Mo explained that they were for babies he said, “Man, those babies must be HUGE.”  I’m going to throw this out there—maybe we need to take an evaluation of these boys’s wardrobe?

Jordan came home from a morning at the air and space museum with his dad on Saturday with a brand new toy.  He was super excited because it was a steal of a deal.  And this is when I was reminded of his Jewish heritage and their reputation for love of a bargain b/c it was totally a Nazi replica plane.

So this morning Patrick was down at the bus stop and Kevin noticed that Patrick had some cereal sticking to his tee shirt. When asked if he was going to take it off, Patrick responded, "No, I am going to have them for a snack later."

Patrick: If you get a new girlfriend do you get a new boat?

Sean: What?

Patrick: When Uncle Bill got a new girlfriend he got a new boat.

Sean: No Patrick.  If I get a girlfriend, I lose the boat, I lose the house, I lose the car.

Much love kids,

T O’B