Whipped

I made a cake for my cousin’s 50^th birthday.  A three tiered, vanilla, chocolate and vanilla cake with layers of strawberries and banana’s covered in whip cream.  It only took me 7 hours.  Not to mention the time it took to make a practice cake last weekend.  And then Nate made fun of me for wanting to show it off at the party.  Who are these people who wouldn’t want to show it off?  Here are the before and after pictures:

The surprise party was a successful surprise—plus I got to meet Mac of Mac and Jacks.  I learned, once again, I don’t like to gamble even when it is fake money.  15 games of connect 5 though? Don’t mind if I do. 

Becky got a text from a friend saying that she had to cancel plans due to the fact that she horribly burned her hand and was headed to the emergency room.  I guess the burns didn’t reach her thumbs. 

When I was talking to my brother the other day he casually said, “Why does he have to get a job? I mean you only work every other year.”  To which I replied with the award winning comeback of “HAAAAAAY!!” followed by his slightly better “Are you or you not about be unemployed?”  Speaking of which… Had an interview last week and at one point one of the people interviewing me exclaimed “You’re like a Brand Ninja.”  Surprisingly, not the first time someone has told me that   I hope three hours of my delightful mix of honesty and sarcasm is what they were looking for in a future employee.   I did tell them my finest quality was the fact that I was, and I quote, “Super fun. Seriously.  I’m a good time.”  It’s totally in the bag.

If not… I started playing Pokémon last week.  I could probably fill up my days with that and Bejeweled Blitz for at least a week or too.  Lucas has forced me to actually read the text book sized guide while playing Pokémon as Jordan continuously reminds me that this game is intended for 8 year olds.  Helpful, so helpful.    In case anyone was wondering, I named my starter “Tepig” “Licious” as in this pig is delicious. 

I bought 5 P!nk CD's and French Kiss at Silver Platters last week.  I'm telling you this to demonstrate my total lack of shame in my actions. 

I went over to Becky’s again on Friday to make sandwiches for the homeless over a couple bottles of Riesling and Love Actually.  Other than accidently spreading jelly all over her carpet, it was relatively event free.  I thought I had chosen one of the hardest Lenten promises this year—but it has been surprisingly easy—and even easier with alcohol.  

Becky broke hers to spend 38 cents on twilight decals—one of which she hid in our coffee people’s tip jar under two dollars with a note of love from both of us.  I’m betting they didn’t need the note.  We imagine the conversation to have gone like this

-What did we get?

- x dollars and twilight sticker.

-Those girls.

Lucas was telling us a joke from a stand up that Steve Martin had done and when we didn’t crack up Lucas followed up the joke with “get it mom? Because white guys have smaller penis’.”  

Here’s one of my favorites from Steve Martin: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPVuHP3OXk0

  

Olive Branch Allergy

With only 4 days worth of material I thought you might get a light issue this week—but lucky for you, I was very wrong. 

Lucas offered Nate a potato chip last night and when Nate said he didn't want it, Luke said, "I can't believe you just said “no” to my olive branch Nate.  My delicious salt and vinegar covered olive branch. My oil soaked offer of peace.”

Becky: So my mom said that when they were younger they had to cover their heads in church.

My Mom: We did too.  They were like doilies.

Becky: She said she used to put a Kleenex on her head when she couldn’t find the doily.

My Mom (Appalled): Oh no. We NEVER did that.  We had these nice lace things that we kept neatly folded in our purses and would attach with a bobby pin.  Actually we used to think that we wore it out of respect for God.  We found out later it was out of respect for men and promptly stopped doing it all together. 

Becky went out with some people from work.  When they got the bill they split it evenly and someone said to leave a 10 dollar tip.  Becky immediately replied “I’m going to tip 11 dollars so that I look better.”

When I pressed the walk button it immediately replied “WAIT.” To which I yelled “No!” Don’t tell ME what to do Walk Sign.

 Me: You don’t eat eggs?

Lucas: The only ovaries I eat are fruit.

Rach describing our friends to a stranger: I’d actually say that Jen is the MOST inappropriate.  (I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jen so proud.)

Jen, after Rach massaged her thigh: It’s okay because she’s a doctor.  You can let her touch you anywhere.

I made a comment about Becky’s husband, which of course, when she re-told the story, was completely not what I said.  The basic idea was that Jared liked the level of ridiculous that Becky brought into his life and he would be sad if she started being normal.  Jared responded by saying “I understand that you’re being ridiculous to make me happy but what is Tiffany’s excuse?”

Laina had a couple of us over for dinner on Friday in which Missy made a yummy Irish dinner and Jen made a Guinness and Bailey’s icing cake.   Here are some highlights of the evening for your enjoyment. 

Someone mentioned that Lily, Jen’s 4 year old, had lovely nail polish on.  Lily then presented her nails to the table like this… which will forever be the standard on showing off any manicures from now on. (If only they were also pointy—like claws.)

Shana was telling us that she knew her father had started thinking of her has a buddy when he told a joke and then wacked her across the chest with the back of his arm like “Heh. That was funny huh?”  As she was telling us about her recovery from the blow Laina decided to speak on behalf of Shana’s Dad by saying “Hey, I paid for those.”  Shana, answered by explaining that due to some tricky financing actually “Lexus paid for those” to which Hays said “Then you better hope they don’t recall your assets.”  This led to discussing the age of Shana’s twins and an inquiry as to whether or not she planned to have a Bat Mitzvah when they turned 13—complete with a yarmulke for each. 

Laina: Sorry I haven’t shown you my new house yet.

Hays: That’s alright.  I still haven’t seen my entire house.

Shana: I had a teacher that was so adorable.

Hays: I bet he’s still available.

Missy’s Dad: Does Laina know that her boyfriend is gay?

Shana retold the story of her “Knee-mergency” when she fell on the escalator splitting her knee open and losing her sunglasses. 

Shana: I started crying right there in the mall.

Hays: over the loss of sunglasses or the pain?

Jen: I don’t know what to do! It’s just so BRIGHT!

Laina: They work at the TDB department of Nordstrom’s

Jen: TBD… That’s like just like your job Tiffany!  

Hays, apparently, when he was younger, would hide all of his uneaten vegetables in the central hollow leg of his kitchen table.  It wasn’t until years later that he discovered his siblings were doing the same thing.  My question is… who had the misfortune of finding this accrual of vegetables?

Lily: My parents don’t know how ski at all!! Can’t you believe that!?  (I’ve never seen a 4 year old so mortified by their parents’ lack of knowledge.)

Jen: I’m on the mountain snowboarding.  There a lot of Powder.  Like 12 inches.

Shana: wow! 12 inches!?

Hays: More like a Bakers dozen.

--Later, reusing the term baker’s dozen--

Jen: Shana’s looking for a 13 inch man

Shana: I don’t want a Smurf.

On St. Patrick’s Day I brought Irish Soda Bread to work.  Becky followed me into the kitchen as I cut up and prepared the bread for my co-workers.  She then ran back to her desk as we left the kitchen threatening to send out a companywide email announcing that she had put out Irish Soda bread for everyone to enjoy—you’re welcome!  And then in teeny tiny letters, “(Oh yea.  Tiffany Made it.)”   Whoa Nelly, does she know how to burn my biscuits. 

Rach had come over on Wednesday to make Shepherd’s Pie for her work pot-luck.  She was extremely disappointed to find out that it did not require any kind of pie crust.  When we were done making the SP and ISB, Dawne said, “WOW!  I am really impressed! You guys did a really great job.”  To which I replied, “Thank you for your compliments, but I do not appreciate the surprise in your voice.” 

Dawne: I got a collar for Nala with Rhinestones on it.

Me: Real Rhinestones?

Dawne: Yes.  Though, rhinestones are fake jewels.

Me: hmm. That’s not the smartest thing I’ve ever said.

Nate: Even I know what rhinestones are.

Me: Dude, I already admitted my stupidity.

Becky has convinced her husband that they should, at some point, change both of their last names. While listening to the radio other day she found a possible option to add to the list “McGahey – Hey, Hey!”  Which, surprisingly enough, reminds me of a Friends episode:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-v10PwJoH4&feature=related

I spent some time trying to convince Dawne that I don’t have allergies; I just get headaches consistently between March and April every year.  Later, I told her didn’t want to share my water b/c I might be sick.  Even though, after taking allergy medicine I feel a lot better, I am definitely sick b/c I don’t have allergies.   It’s fun knowing me. 

Pour Some Guinness On Me

I remember St. Patrick’s Day’s better than I do Easter and Christmas.  I’m sure a large part of this has to do with the fact that I do the same thing every year on Easter and Christmas so they all kind of blend together.   Or maybe my priorities are entirely messed up.  Definitely one of those.  Here is a special segment In honor of this spectacular holiday, in which we wake up to a bowl of lucky charms, deck ourselves in green (marveling at how MANY shades of green there really are) go out (or are pestered to go out) to drink knowing that the significance of the holiday may be weak but the Irish American’s are strong and prevalent.   

In 5^th grade my teacher spent an entire lesson on how people like me, who dress up on St. Patrick’s Day are just trying to get attention.  Thanks Mrs. S. 

In 6^th grade I wore a “Kiss me I’m Irish” shirt and then got a kiss from my 6^th grade Science teacher.  Weird, Mr. Testa.  Weird. 

7^th – 12^th grade I made green colored Banana nut and Blueberry muffins—roughly 8 dozen—which would be completely gone by the time lunch period rolled around.  Nooooo I wasn’t trying to buy friends. 

Freshman year I made several batches of Bailey’s Irish cream and made everyone watch Brendon Grace—only none of my friends could understand him b/c his brogue was too thick (I could hardly hear it). 

Sophomore year in college I filled my mini fridge with Guinness.  Before we drank, and before we went out for the night, we got caught by the RA (no doubt b/c I was laughing too much). Rather than trying to hide anything, I ended up opening the fridge (she was bound to open it eventually and she did ask) and showed that where the Brita pitcher used to be was more beer than should fit in a mini fridge.  Somehow, Kristy’s older brother put all of the beer in a duffle bag and left the dorm with it instead of giving it to the RA.  While many people were in the room, only Julie and I had to take the campus no drinking class.  (The second warning your parents got a phone call.  I begged them to call instead—but instead I had to watch a video of someone drinking 20 shots.) 

Junior year… I think that I went to Joe and Christine’s house and my Uncle was visiting.  I wore a ridiculous green vest that I found in my dad’s closet.  I wonder what happened to that vest.    

Senior year though, I had just gotten back from break.  My mother had sent me home with 5 pounds of honey ham.  An hour after I got back there were 5 ladies standing in my tiny kitchen eating my Momela’s ham straight out of the corning ware dish.  Classy.  This was followed by a trip to the bars.  First, Mad Mex, naturally, and then that bar in the basement with the singing and the tables—Phyrst?  I can’t remember exactly what we drank, but I know for a fact that we did some shots as I distinctly remember the glasses.  :P  (Later that year, my roommate’s and I would go for my birthday with my brother and Sarah would spill Guinness.  I would consequently, get up on the table with her, pitchers of Guinness in each hand, and sing at the top of our lungs “POUR SOME GUINNESS ON ME!!” to make her feel better. I’m a giver.)

My first year in Seattle I went on a first date on St. Patrick’s Day to the Rusty Pelican – I haven’t been back since. 

There were at least 4 in which I was either in Vegas or LA at GAMA/WWLA trying my best to stay awake long enough to have one drink before heading in early so I could be responsible at the show. Every year my brother would call me and demand to know why I wasn’t out—and every year I was a disappointment. 

The next was in NY.  My mom made Irish Soda Bread which I brought into work and really did try to bribe people into liking me (I like to think it worked).  This was followed by an evening at Brodie’s in which I saw some people from HS and immediately steered clear of them in a moment of sheer cowardice.  (I’m not proud of this.  I saw a friend having dinner with his family and literally hid in the booth until my friends showed up.)  Later, I would drink a bit and reconnect with old HS “friends” but not a moment before. 

Last year I forced people to go out and came dangerously close to hiring the fireman’s pipe and drum band to play at my birthday party—and now this year—where my sole purpose is to go out and show off my new T-Shirt. 

And that, my friends, is how this Irishman celebrates.  I hope you are ever more successful—enjoy your day and drink one for all of those pregnant ladies that can’t this year.  J

Cap'n Crunch to Walk the Plank

Me: I can’t believe when your parents called worried about the Tsunami you decided to tell them it has been hurricane weather when it isn’t even raining right now.

Luke: But it was raining yesterday.

Me: I wonder if the bomb shelter in the house would even protect us.  It does make me want to watch blast from the past though…

Luke: Yea, while in the bomb shelter. 

 Also I forgot to tell you about what I watched last week—and I know you were curious.  While looking for Amélie and French Kiss, we ended up watching Earth Girls are Easy.  I had low expectations, which were met.  A thoroughly silly and ridiculous film.  

And, I also introduced Lucas to Daria.  You’ll be pleased to know that it held up over time and he thoroughly enjoyed the 6 episodes available to us on MTV.com.

I also forgot to recap my facebook news—which was very remiss of me.

First: Cap’n Crunch is retiring!?!  How else will a shred the roof of my mouth in the morning!?  (Seriously, though.  V. v. upsetting.) This isn’t the first time Cap’n Crunch has upset someone: They aren't REAL Crunch Berries?!

Second: Tom Hanks’ (See what I did there Cristi?) humorous exploitation of his Daughter reminded me of Will Farrell’s exploitation of a baby and there was much laughter had by both myself and Shana… and now you!

Lastly:

F: Omg. Katzenberg, Elton John, Jamie Murray, Scarlett Johansson, Sean Penn, Sharon Osborne all at the same restaurant at the same time. And others. Ugh. And me and J. Hihi

T: I hate when that happens... in that I hate sharing the attention.

F: I know. I almost went up to Elton to tell him to wear more discrete glasses. Attention grabber.

J ‎@Tiff: whaddayameansharing?

T @J: If you've never had to do it before, far be it for me to explain to you the horror story that is "to share." I still have nightmares about when I first got the talk. Big Bird... total jerk.

J: ‎"Sharing" sounds plebeian. What an interesting idea. I shall ponder it. But not for long.

Getaway Van

Overheard work conversation about playing new Pokémon game:

C1: I’d fall asleep if I tried to finish the whole game.

C2: You fall asleep from the little bottles hidden in your desk. 

Me: So… did Luke tell you about the Strawberries you got for your birthday?

Jordan: You mean the strawberries that you opened and ate?

Me: Yes. But did he explain that we were worried that they would go bad and did he show you that we bought replacements strawberries?

Jordan: nope. 

I had a bad day last week and at the end of the day, Becky tried to cheer me up with a hug that, b/c we are both not great with hugs, ended up being very uncomfortable.  When I got home I received this:

Me: I have a question about apostrophes.

Cristi: Yay! I love talking punctuation!  

Becky:  I thought about you the other day while I was reading something Jesus said in the bible.

Me: Oh really?

Becky:  Yes.  I realized that Jesus was really sarcastic too. 

 Tuesday night I only got 2 hours of sleep.  I believe my lack of sleep had a hand in the silliness that occurred on Wednesday (because obviously I’m not silly any other time.)

On Ash Wednesday, went to church during lunch.  When we got there, Becky ran to the ladies room before the service started.  When she got back to the pew she whispered “I think I just peed on my skirt a little.”  Trying not to giggle in church is hard. 

When we came back to the parking deck, I got a sweet parking spot.  So sweet that as I was parking someone rolled down their window to yell “You should buy a lottery ticket!”  I couldn’t see out of my side window so I as I was backing in, I used the car to my left as a judge.  As I got out of the car I realized that I had 3 feet on the other side of my car.  Becky and I were joking about the notes I might find when I got back to the car.  So… instead of re-parking, I found a piece of paper and a marker and left a note on my own windshield saying “I KNOW. I FAIL AT PARKING.”  Unfortunately, while I thought this was hilarious… at 5, I remembered I was driving my boss home from work so I had to tell her the whole story on our way to car.  I guess now she knows me a lil better than she did before.

In a haze of tired, I forgot that we need to use a card to get into our office—struggled with the door, puzzled over why it wasn’t opening.  Realized I was being dumb, then tried to put my wallet up to the card reader… but that didn’t work, until some guy took pity on me and opened the door for me.  Turns out the card was still in my pocket—and my brain was left in bed that morning.  (These are the stories that I could keep to myself—but I just can’t seem to.)

Luke: Oh! Pam gave me mail for you... but I don't remember where I put--I mean Pam created a SCAVENGER HUNT for you!  

Me: I found it! What do I get!?

Luke: 2 Pieces of MAIL! 

Jordan: Last week, my 15 year old son wanted to go to NY to go the Met, Guggenheim, MOMA and the Opera.  This week my 22 year old son is taking me on a Disney Cruise. 

Nate: Are you guys upset that we weren’t taken to Disney?

Me: Well, Luke just got back from NY so he doesn’t have any reason to complain.

Nate: Alright, but you’re upset that we’re the only kids not being taken on vacation right?

Me: Well first, I’m not one of the kids so I don’t think I can get upset that I’m not being taken to Disney…

Helped Becky and her church lady friends make sandwiches and care packages for the homeless on Friday night.  Nothing makes me want to show my true sarcastic jokester self like two sweet and kind women trying to make the world a better place.  I showed up baring chewy bars and bottles of wine—a little something for the homeless a little something for me.  Didn’t Jesus like to chase his biting sarcasm with a glass of vino?

Luke (playing the piano): Hey Tiffany

Me (coming down the stairs): Hey Beethoven.

Luke: Oh yea.  Did I wake you? I’m sorry.

Me: It’s okay.

Luke: Yea.  Is it bad that I kinda did it on purpose?

Me: Why?

Luke: I just wanted the company. 

Super Helpful Safeway Starbuck Lady: It actually needs skin touching the buttons.

Me: That’s really not good news for Germaphobes.

SSL: You could use the pen!

Me: No people have touched that too.

SSL: Oh, well um, you could, uh…

Me: It’s alright. It’s fine. I can do this.  I’m not a mental patient or anything about it. 

SSL (uncomfortable laughter): Well that’s good. 

I drove Luke and his band-mates to a gig on Saturday night with the help of Becky.  The whole evening was so funny I’m having hard time figuring out where to begin or how much I should say.  

Had a mom explain to me that I couldn’t just drop the kids off at the teen center b/c what if there was a suspicious adult there.  I assured the mother that I would stay—despite the fact that it was horribly uncool to stay—even if it was in the back.  When I handed back the phone to Luke’s friend he was like “Yea.  She’s a lil over-protective and still getting over the fact that I didn’t tell her that Luke’s parents are gone for the weekend.”

Me: I didn’t know what Ska was—I love ska!

Luke: I know you do, Tiffany.

You know, how when you are with teenagers, the less you talk the cooler you are?  Ya.  I stopped being cool.  Becky’s thinks it’s when I made fun of their van packing skills while mocking them for leaving their pedals at the house.  I told her I think it was back in October when I yelled at them for the tappy tap on the mic and then told them to stop the tom foolery in the pool b/c I said so and I had a flashlight.  Totally worth it.

 

Becky: If you are ever in a situation in which you are lost and the only help you have is a 15 year old in the car---NEVER ask the 15 year old for directions. 

First, I don’t know why Nate is embarrassed to drive the Van b/c frankly I think the van has gone way past the point of being lame and has entered into a hilarious joke that can be told in 4 words “I’m in the van.”  The car often has battery problems so the TV’s have been ripped out with the wires hanging about to preserve the battery life. (I once drove the car and wondered if this was done on purpose or if they were stolen and no one had noticed and I wasn’t overly concerned about the answer.)  The passenger window doesn’t go up and instead is covered with plastic which is both loud and cold on the high way.  The heat and air conditioning don’t really work (which was worse in the summer before someone accidently put the window down.)  It has been used to haul trash, yard stuff, furniture, band equipment (obvi) and both closed and open containers of gasoline for the boats (there may have been some spillage).  It has an indescribable scent to it and an inexplicable moss like substance that grows on the outside crevices.  But hey, the tape deck works.   

So, I’m driving the van.  I got off at the wrong exit to Mercer Island.  I knew it was the wrong exit right away.  As I was driving along, I told Becky, who was following me that I was going to turn around.  I’ll draw you a diagram:

When I was stopped, I looked in my rearview mirror and asked Luke “Do you think Becky’s car learned a new trick or is there a police car behind us?”  And then I had to open the car door (which you would NEVER do in NY).

Me: Sorry, the window doesn’t work.

Cop: That’s fine.  I pulled you over for several reasons.  Why don’t you pull over on the grass over there.

Me: Really? On the grass? Are you sure I can do that?

Cop:  Yes.

Me: Are you sure you aren’t going to get hit?

Cop: Yes.

Me: Alright—If you’re sure.  I’m sorry, I’m totally lost.

Cop: That’s okay.  Now your tabs say 2010.  Is this even your car?

Me (not at all surprised about the tabs): Oh.  Yea.  Not my car.

Cop: You look like you’re going to a concert.

Me: Yup.  Driving some 15 year olds home from a gig.

Cop: Turns out your up to date on the registration you just have the wrong sticker.  Can I have your license?

Me: Yup.

Cop: Where are you trying to go?

Me: No idea.

Cop: Do you have an address?

Me: Nope.

Cop: So you have no idea where you are headed?

Me: Nope.  I did have someone following me—but I guess they aren’t anymore.

Cop: Okay… I’ll be right back.

Cop handing me my license: How’s about you not make any more crazy U-turns when a cop is following you?

Me: That sounds like a good idea. 

Cop: And you still don’t know where you’re going?

Me: Nope.  But I’m going to drive to that….

Cop: Elementary school?

Me: YES! And follow my friend. 

Cop: Okay. You have a good night. 

I then proceeded to drive to the school and pulled a do not enter entrance.  Not my best work.  Though, I still don’t think I actually did anything wrong re: the U-Turn, I just don’t think anyone ever does anything “crazy” when they are being followed by a cop—unless of course you don’t know you’re being followed by a cop.  J

Sorry, Angela Lansbury.

Non-Becky-Co-Worker (out of nowhere): PeeWee’s Big Adventure was the last good movie Tim Burton did… Discuss.

Luke played at the Comet on Monday night.  I wanted to say that I’m too old to be going on to bars to watch bands on Monday nights… but the truth is, I never went to bars to see bands on Monday nights. 

I was telling a story to Laina and Shana about going to a wedding and Maureen had forgotten the card at home so she just told the bride that if she was still married after a year, she would send the card for her anniversary.  Laina, who has never met my sister, responded with “Classic Mō.”   A few days later, I was talking to Maureen and her phone died ½ way through the conversation so she posted on my fb wall, “Phone died.  Classic Phone.” 

Maureen went to get Kevin from the kiddy hot tub (while on the cruise) and as he was getting out the girl in the hot tub screams “Wait, I want my Barbie back!" at which point Kevin reaches down his pants and pulls out the Barbie doll and matching purse, and hands it back to her.  Maureen then explained to him that you don’t put Barbie’s down your pants… however, I still think it’s a good rule not to put anything down there.  But hey, I’m not a mom.

 

Kevin also said the other night "I can't wait to go to Tiffany’s birthday!"  When Mo said it would be too expensive to fly everyone out - his reply was “Then just take me.”

My new line, in situations in which you're supposed to say "I'll totally kick their ass for you,” is: “I will totally shred their confidence with my wit and sarcasm." It’s more realistic and I don’t feel like such a sham.

Went to Shana’s on Wednesday night for a “50’, filming for a Kitchen Make-over, Party” in a dress I had no business wearing.  The majority of the evening’s highlights were highly inappropriate for national television.  Including when Laina was standing next to Mark, while Mark was telling a story that included numerous hand gesturing and Laina said, “You’re dangerously close to touching my boobs right now.”  This was followed by Mark profusely apologizing while exaggerating his gestures closer to her chest.  Later, Laina warned Jen when she was also standing close to Mark, only Jen replied by pushing out her chest, saying, “Why do you think I’m standing here?”

Shana also told us she has a bit of a lesbian crush on her dentist.  The last visit she had some work done which would be followed up by a cleaning.  While still drugged up a bit, the dentist asked if she wanted to stay in her current chair or wait in another room.  Shana chose to stay where she was. Mysteriously, when she eventually got up from the chair, her bra was unhooked.  Shana, I’ll say it again, that doesn’t JUST HAPPEN. 

Shana served, among other things, mini-hot dogs.  At some point, I stated that I needed to cleanse my glass and everyone stopped short.  Laina:  The wiener jokes have been in abundance without a second thought, but Tiffany says she needs to cleanse her glass and suddenly we all think it’s inappropriate.  Me: Seriously, the only thing dirty about me is my martini glass.

So, here is final cut of the video in case anyone was interested:

Shana's Kitchen Make-Over

Janette: I’m having a Ramen-off for my birthday.

Me: OH! You should make it a theme party—a Romanov – Ramen- off!

Janette: I think the fact that I’m inviting people over to cook their own dinner is enough to ask.

Had a celebratory dinner on Friday night of fun and fondue:

Luke: What do you think they call Pound Cake in London?

Me: Good question. 

Cathy: Pound Cake is called Pound Cake in London.

Me: Then why is it called Pound Cake?

Jordan: Maybe it used to cost a Pound?

Shane (to me): You don’t think that’s what it is?

Me: No, but I don’t have a better explanation yet.

Jordan: She’ll come up with one later—like on Monday when she writes the email.

Me: That’s true. Basically all of my quotes are done after the fact so I have more time to sound funny.

I looked it up and it was called pound cake because the original recipe called for an equal pound of each ingredient.  After a lengthy article, I then clicked on the recipe to find out how the measured a pound of eggs (you were thinking it too), and nothing was equal.

Shane: So think back… when you think about the 70’s, what do you think of?

(Luke, Cathy and I were clearly coming up blank.)

Shane: Okay… so I don’t know what it is about the 70’s, but every time I think about them, it’s always summer.  It’s like the entire decade happened in the summer when it’s warm and sunny outside.

Me: Shane, you were in South Africa in 70’s.  

Luke: I do always like to watch That 70’s show at the end of the summer. 

In case you didn’t know this already, the house has a tendency to have a lot of distracting and playful things all around.  One of the current bits in the kitchen includes Bucky Balls.  We keep making things and leaving it for the next person.  This guy: Bucky Balls is *almost* as cool as we are.  Meanwhile, Shane and Matty decided to use them as face jewelry… which, oddly enough, Jordan and I never thought to do.  See, everyone really does add to the madness in their own unique way.  I told Shane he can’t have those around the house with babies.  After attaching the magnets to their faces, Shane and Cathy predicted that they would have nightmares of magnets synching up their intestines.  Chucky has nothing on these powerful toys.  

Saturday Night: Party at the Crocodile & Karaoke with Jen’s mom:

Shana: You were cranky.  It made me giggle.

Me: That I was cranky, or the fact that I stated “I’m cranky.”

Shana: The fact that you told me. 

I think it’s only fair to tell people, especially b/c when I’m cranky, I get annoyed so easily—and it’s never about anything that someone else has done… it’s more about “I’ve been waiting outside for a ½ hour and now I’m cold and about to just go home.”  The fact that Rach and Jen both wanted to fix this problem by telling me to get a cup of coffee is super funny to me.  Shana, though, went the Gin and Tonic Avenue which apparently worked just as well.  Possibly better. 

After singing Karaoke:

I thought he was going to carry me.

He did!

Me (After singing Be Our Guest with Michael): I am SO sorry.  Angela Lansbury is SO disappointed in me right now.  

Rach: These man hands will go all night!  (I honestly don’t know what this was in reference to… but I think it’s funny all on its own.)

Luke’s to do list: English Paper Outline, Get Quotes, Find out what the topic is.

Me: Maybe you should find out what the topic is first.

Luke: Is CONtent and conTENT spelled the same way?

Me: Yes.  It’s like Read and Read and Appropriate or Appropriate.

Luke: You’ve just blown my mind.  My mind? Totally BLOWN.

Luke: Don’t worry Tiffany, I’m on drugs. 

(Surprisingly, this did make me stop worrying.)

Shana: Are you going to do that whole Ash Wednesday thing again this year?

Me: Yes.

Shana: Oh man, I’m not going to see you and I do so love making fun of the dirt on your forehead!