Jamie, Can You Make Me Look Like Dita Von Teese, Please?

Sometimes I think doing these updates weekly isn’t fair because I can never remember what happened on Monday and Tuesday.  I’m going to assume that I watched White Collar over some cinnamon life cereal and fortune cookies.  Oh! This didn’t happen last week, but it did happen on a Tuesday a couple of weeks ago and so I forgot to mention it.  Mariana (Luke’s former nanny) came over to hang out and get guitar lessons from Luke.  As she was leaving, Zach and I were in the living room.

Mariana: Dawne left this GPS on the table for me.

Me: Okay.

Mariana: I’m going on a trip to Canada.  I promise I’ll bring it back. Dawne said it was okay. 

Zach: Okay. 

Mariana: Really.  I’ll have it back in two weeks. Dawne knows about it. 

Me: Mariana, we don’t think you’re stealing the GPS.  If you are, this was a really elaborate plot just to take a GPS – you should have aimed higher.

Mariana: I’m not stealing it!

My favorite part of this story is that, we’ve had Mariana in our lives for 16 years.  We know she would never steal, and she should know that Zach and I don’t care what she walking out of the house with.  But I think our laughter made her even more uncomfortable because she just got more elaborate in her explanation. 

Lucas (probably while watching White Collar): Wait does bacon have cholesterol?

Me: Yes.

Lucas: Today I was active for three seconds and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Do you know how old I am?

Me: What did Frita say?

Momela: Nothing, he’s just being a smart ass

Me: Um, I don’t know if you know this, but I’m a bit of a smart ass so I kinda love that about him. 

Zach: They said there were no boys allowed
Me: Yeah.  That's what we say when we're rejected.

Lucas’ teacher:  I have a brother who could totally rough you up.  You better watch out.

Lucas: I don’t think so. I've seen Rocky

(Also, this is a strange thing for a teacher to say to a student.)

On Wednesday, I grabbed dinner with Adam before we headed over to the Crocodile to see Lucas/Allium play for the last time (for a while anywaywhile Lucas pursues his turntablism career as “DJ Super Squids.”) We were all incredibly proud of the Luke Boy.  Then we stuck around for the other three bands before heading over to the Black Bottle.  Kelly and Laina were wearing super cute shoes and Laina told me that a woman had come up to her and asked, “Did you get those shoes on the computer?”  We also passed by a bridal shop on our way back from the Black Bottle and Laina told us, “Yeah.  I was very honest with my friends about when I get married.  I said, “You [w]itches are wearing square dancing dresses.”  I WILL be the prettiest on there.”  

We have 3 of Zach’s friends from Ringling staying with us this summer while they intern.  The first young lady, Cassidy arrived on Wednesday evening.  On Thursday morning, she came up to the back of the house.

Cassidy: I didn’t want to knock so I just went back down to the other house. 

Zach: Wait, you didn’t want to knock? 

Cassidy: I didn’t want to wake anyone.

Zach: Did you try opening the door? 

Cassidy: No.

Zach: So you walked up to the house, and when you discovered that the house had a door, you walked away? 

Meanwhile, with very little sleep, I came into work on Thursday and helped Christy make some vegan chili.  Our department volunteered to make dinner for the studio (or at least the ones who were staying late ~120 people).  On the menu was chili, baked potatoes, copious amounts of bacon and an ice cream bar for the pregnant lady on our team.  This was all supposed to be cooked on 3 grills with a sketchy amount of utensils in an hour and 1/2 – it was like camping but without the chance of s’mores. My team got to see “convention Tiffany” for the first time.  I was very bossy, putting everyone to work like it was my personal responsibility to feed these people.  When the grills were proving to be inefficient, we started microwaving some of the potatoes and bacon.  At the pinnacle of my bossiness – I finally grabbed a beer from the keg and headed outside to help grill.  That’s when I realized that I had assigned a vegan the responsibility of cooking 25 pounds of bacon.  Whoops! Then at 7:30, I told Laina that I would be leaving to try and catch Dita Von Teese at 8pm.  The traffic fairies were totally on my side – and despite my guilt at going without inviting Jordan, I was very happy to order doubles of everything before sitting in our VIP seats.  PS – I need this outfit.  Jamie? Will you make it for me? Pretty please?

Friday night we went for a boat ride after work followed by a marathon of White Collar. 

Dawne: I’m going on a date with Jordan tonight.

Zach: Didn’t you hang out with him like a month ago?

Consequently, I had the dogs on Friday night and they delightfully woke me up at 5am and then again at 7.  At 7, I walked down to the kitchen with them and as Nala was barking at me, I calmly and logically explained, “Coffee before Nala.  I don’t know what your mother does, but you know with me it’s ALWAYS coffee before Nala.”

The second intern/Zach’s friend was arriving early on Saturday, so Zach called to tell his parents to be at the house at nine.

Dawne: I told Jordan that I love that our kids call us when we're supposed to be parents. And then Jordan was insulted because I just thought it was funny.
Me: It's 9:01. They're late. Let's leave.

Then I ran and got Stella a carwash on my way to pick up bbq supplies before a bunch of friends arrived for pool time. 

Shane: I have another great idear for a television show.

Lucas: Will it feature a mac product for deer?

Then Shane proceeded to tell us the story.  When he said, “like Lord of the Rings.” Lucas and drifted off a bit (literally and mentally).

Lucas: More like Lord of the Long Movies. 

Me: I noticed he doesn’t have a funny sidekick.  Why even bother if you aren’t going to have a Maz character?

Lucas: You’ll notice that he’s lost 90% of his audience.

Me: At least he has Jordan. 

Lily: Look Mom! I created a new trick!

Me to Becky: I’ve seen it.  It wasn’t very good.  I think she needs a little practice on that one. 

Becky: You’re going to make a great mom.   

Cathy brought Fynn in for a swim for the first time.  I think Cathy was the most nervous, and I’m pretty sure those nerves sky rocketed when Shane (Dad) took the small Small to the deep end of the pool.  Everyone was also trying to get Casper to jump into the pool for a ball, and as he was creeping, yet terrified to try to get in, Nala ran around to the shallow end, jumped in, and swam over to the ball like, “What’s the big deal?”

Saturday evening was dedicated to celebrating Becky’s birthday.  We went to “Palettes and Pairings” in Kirkland.  Basically, you get to drink while painting.  The power went out 10 minutes into painting, but we powered on until the lights came on.  Here’s what Dawne and I did:

And then we went to Purple. 

Me: I’m going to have the German Gewürztraminer.

Dawne: Is that white?

Me: Yes. You’ll like it.

Dawne: I’ll have what she’s having.
Waiter: Yeah.  I think you should get this other wine… (lists off why until Dawne agrees.)

Me: That was weird.  You know, how that guy basically told you that he knows you better than I do.

Sunday I had planned to hang out with Matty so the fam and I met up with him at Pike’s Place and over to Fremont & Norm’s with the dogs, followed by vintage shopping.  Dawne could hardly breathe by the time we left.

Me: You are literally allergic to Old, Dirty things.

Jordan: Yeah, I don’t know how she manages to hang out with me so much. 

Laina discovered on Sunday that I was an Aries instead of a Taurus.  I don’t think I have ever disappointed someone so much.  Apparently she didn’t get the “feisty not down to earth” memo – or the part where I’m born in April. :P

When we got home, Luke and I watched both Men in Black I and II because I had never seen them.  (Apparently, Fresh Prince of Bellaire is next.) Monday, I taught Dawne how to play Freecell over coffee.  Then we took Daisy the Doozer to the dog park, followed by shopping in the U-Village, and lunch/dinner at the Lunchbox Laboratory in Bellevue.  Theeeeeen we went to see Men in Black III, which was totally cute! You know that commercial before movies that has a big flashy movie trailer, but then it slowly gets smaller until it’s the size of a TV screen and the message is, “Go big or go home?” Well it was at this point that Lucas yelled, “America!”

Happy Memorial Day everyone. J

PS Here is a picture I got from BDug today that I thought as hilarious:

Stella Adorable

After finding seeing the bill for nearly 6 grand to fix the cut into my convertible top, and having to wait an hour for someone to find an air filter that fit my car, I decided that I should probably get another car.  On Saturday, I saw a picture of the car I wanted.  On Monday, I went for a test drive at work and then on Monday night I came home, convinced Zach to go down to Tacoma with me, and we went down and bought my very first new car.   Her name is Stella Adorable. 

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150937058266351.473626.703236350&type=1&l=127ba53316

Guy at the dealer: Can I grab those keys, I need to wash and fill it up and I'm not going to push it. 

Me: Careful it's new.

I felt bad about the way I left my Saab.  I did pause to take one last picture. 

I also had to spend some time explaining why Saabs have "Stealth Mode" - which is basically a button that you push and all the lights and gauges go off.  Strangely enough, yesterday, as Zach and I were trying to play, "Name what Disney Movie this song came from", without looking at the name of the song, we realized the real, true reason, one would want to Stealth Mode in a car. 

It took much longer than I thought, and I'm making a formal apology to Zach for not only subjecting him to this torture, but also because I didn't feed him and by the time we left the dealer, both of us decided getting home was more important that food.  Tuesday night, I brought Stella over to meet Rach.  As we were driving out of her neighborhood we heard someone compliment Stella and say, "I drove a real one in Italy!"  Then we parked it on the street, and ate outside at a delicious Puerto Rican place so that we could still stare at Stella. (When we ordered drinks, I was told that I was making a terrible decision.  I guess... Thanks?) 

Lucas: So how are you liking your car?

Me: I'm lovin it.

Lucas: Like McDonalds?

Me: Yes.

Lucas: So when you're done driving it you feel a little bit bad about yourself?

Shana: Thank goodness it's a convertible otherwise your personality wouldn't fit in it.

I got an IM from my boss that said, "We are outside looking at Stella.  Come on out when you're ready."  Clearly, I'm not the only one who is filled with joy upon looking at Stella Adorable.  OH! This has nothing to do with anything, but there is this super talented artist who works at 343, and he friended me on fb.  He.  Friended. ME.  (I'm ignoring the fact that he has 1700 friends.) 

On Wednesday, I met Becky for a birthday breakfast.  I had tied balloons on her chair and had cupcakes and candles on hand.  Meanwhile, she walks in with a foot tall birthday crown.  Naturally people kept wishing her a "Happy birthday!" She then turned to me and said, "How does everyone know?"

After work, I met Becky at Gold's Gym for a She Bam! Class.  Basically, it was awesome and made me want to switch gyms just so that I could take this class with her all the time.  (She Bam is basically like jazzercise with less structure.) 

Thursday and Friday, I did a 2 day Pandora tribute to Donna Summers and I swear it caused my whole system to be wrecked with anxiety.  Note to self: Disco is for Dancing, not working. 

Me: Stop using your toes to open the refrigerator.

Lucas: It's more efficient. Our ancestors have been doing this for years and years!

Me: Opening refrigerator with their feet?

Lucas: This is about evolution!

Me: Let me get this straight; because of evolution, if we don't use our toes to open the refrigerator, toes will be bred out of existence.

Lucas: Yes, because people will only want to mate with people who use their toes! It is because of people like you we've already lost our opposable thumbs on our feet.

Zach:  It's still gross.  Stop doing it. 

(After Lucas said something funny that I don't remember:)

Zach: What's that from?

Lucas: It's not from anything; it's from life.

Bright and early Saturday morning, we went down to the clean up the beachfront.  During the winter, the water level of the lake gets so high that it comes up all the way to the studio.  When the water level goes back down, we end up with sand, rocks, and random stuff all along the beach.  (One year, a Jet Ski had washed up on shore, last year all of the slate from around the campfire area had been dislodged, and we had to find and reassemble the slate.)  This year, we basically had to shovel a lot of rocks and sand (it was nearly 4 feet high in one area.)  Lucas and I ran to buy a wheel barrow and extra shovel, and as we were leaving Ace Hardware, a woman yelled to us, "Have Fun!"

Me: That was weird.  For all she knows, we could be disposing a dead body.

Lucas: With a wheelbarrow and a shovel?

Me: The wheelbarrow to carry the body, and the shovel to bury it.

Lucas: Why do you know about this method?

Me: Because I've watched TV before. 

This is what the bucket that we were using to haul rocks said:

When we were all done, I was feeling pretty good about the whole project.

Me: That wasn't so bad.

Dawne: I'm exhausted.

Me: Yeah, but it's not nearly as bad as when we carried cement blocks up the stairs for 4 hours.  It's all about perspective. 

Zach: You know, if we had kept those cement blocks down at the beach, we probably wouldn't have to do this every year. 

We then rewarded ourselves with lunch (we took Daisy the Doozer (Dawne's new Jeep) and Stella to Tu Casa) and  then took a boat ride.

Zach (looking at a house on the lake): You know it's fancy when they cover the drive way.

Me: Not the fact that they have a helicopter pad?

Then we took a swim.  Nala jumped right in and started swimming around, and then, soaked was huddled in a towel. 

Zach: Heh.  Nala is an ongoing joke.

Then Casper also got out of the pool and used my towel to dry off.

Me: Casper!

Zach: You should never have taught him how to dry himself off. 

Saturday evening, Jordan's cousins Lynn and Mark came over to hang out.  We headed out for a casual dinner, and due to the fact that it was a prom night and restaurants were full, we ended up at Ruth Chris'.  Naturally.  Then we came home and Luke and I vegged out in front of the TV to watch some White Collar.  The internet was a little sketchy and kept pausing. 

Me: This is rough.

Lucas: This is soul crushing

Jordan: Maybe we should watch this tomorrow.

Lucas: I want it now. I want it all.

On Sunday, a similar situation happened.  We kept blaming Zach for downloading something upstairs.  This time when the show paused, Zach was just pulling into the driveway.

Lucas: Zach is clearly downloading something on his phone. 

Me: Seriously, Zach?

I was totally kidding of course.  Zach Rocks.  And to prove how much he rocks, he took yet another ride down to Tacoma with me yesterday to get this protective plastic coating put on.

Zach: I'm surprised you didn't just say you could do it yourself with a little shellac.

Me: I got this! Hand me the saran wrap.     

As I was signing paperwork, and getting the keys to the loaner car, the dealer guy was explaining some things about the car.

Zach: Did you say the car had a half gallon or half tank? Is this like, "Just see if you can get to a gas station I dare you?"

Me: My cousin, who just got a Jeep, is also bringing her car in to get the protectant on it. 

Zach: I didn't realize my mom was your cousin.

Me: Which part did you forget, the part where I call her dad Uncle Ray or the part where she calls my mom Aunt Karen?

Zach and I drove a little further and also ran around the Capitol building (in Olympia) and I Instagram'ed the hell out of that place.  I figured we qualified for oversized parking:

Later at home, Jordan pulled in, saw the Fiat in the driveway and said, "Tiffany's car changes color in the rain!" And no joke, Lucas said the same thing when he saw it this morning in the driveway, only he thought it was an awesome bonus feature.  :)

In case you all haven't seen it yet, this made me giggle a lot:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBHOL1PcPR8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Maintenance Hugs

Happy Monday!  It was a glorious weekend!  I haven’t put the top up on my car since Friday.  Partially, because it’s gorgeous out, and partially because I’m afraid of putting it up and down after 6K later, I just picked it up from getting a new, not cut top.  The windshield is still on order from Sweden. 

I’m going turn back time, to a moment pre-weekly updates.  4 or 5 years ago, after we did some shuffling of rooms and I ended up with a really awesome deck, I went out and bought some chairs.  I invited Rach up to hang out with me on this awesome deck on my new chairs.  Dawne and Jordan came home and were walking up to the house and I yelled down:

Me: Check out my new chairs!

Jordan: I just bought new chairs too!

Me: Oh yeah!?

Jordan: Yes!  They come packaged inside a new Porsche. 

Me: You’ve completely stole my thunder.

Jordan: Okay. I didn’t buy it yet.  I saw it, and I decided to come home and if I still wanted in an hour, we’d go back and get it.  So… will you drive me back there in 15 minutes? 

There is a reason that I told this story.  A couple weeks ago, Dawne and I decided that seeing as we already had matching purses, the next logical step was to get matching Jeeps. On Friday, Jordan traded in his bright orange Porsche (with 1200 miles on it) so that Dawne could get an orange Jeep.  Dawne picked up her Jeep on Saturday, and it really is super cute.  Though, yesterday, Dawne and I were laying out on driveway in the sun (as we have been doing since I was one) and I was very pleased that I did not get a matching Jeep. 

Me: The car dealer guy said that the top was easy to take off if I had a significant other, and as I’m watching your significant other and son take this top off, I realize I haven’t put in the years of creating manual labor that you have.  I mean you made three of them from scratch.

Dawne:  Yeah, I’ve put a lot of years in and it’s finally paying off. 

I’m going to test drive another car today, so I’ll let you know how it goes when I’ve finally purchased a vehicle.  (I don’t want to ruin it.)

Friday we went to see Dark Shadows, which was just okay.  Saturday we grabbed brunch with the Smalls.  When I went to ask for a table, Zach stopped me and said, “But what about the small, Small?”  Good point.  Fynn, AKA our entertainment, does like to show up with his parents these days.  Lucas ordered the Beignet’s which came with a sauce that looked a lot like condensed egg nog. 

Lucas: I think this is egg nog. 

Me: No, I hate egg nog.

Lucas: Taste it again.

Me: It does taste like Nutmeg.

Lucas: Ugh. It’s so gross that it is called Nutmeg and it looks like that.

(There were copious amount of someecards that were so appropriate for this area that it was gross, but in the interest of keeping it clean….)

Lucas made a rap song for Dawne for Mother’s Day.  She handed her phone over to Shane and Cathy to listen to it and when it was over Shane looked at Zach and said, “What are you doing for Mother’s Day?”  Zach had gotten her a fun T-shirt, but first he handed her a card with Monopoly stickers from the grocery store to make it look like that’s all he got for her.  Zach said that he was at the store with his friends when he suddenly said, “Wait!  Mother’s Day is coming -  give me your stickers!”  He clearly knows what Dawne needs in life.

The rest of Saturday was spent in the pool, followed by dinner at the Lunchbox Laboratory with Zach, Lynn and Kelly, followed by wandering around Pioneer Square until we randomly met up with Diana and Jason.  Sunday, we piled into the Jeep for coffee and random errands (like getting matching leashes for the Jeep) followed by more pool time, then boat time and finished up with Zach and I watching The Addam’s Family while we applied aloe on any parts that didn’t get lotioned properly.  (Why isn’t lotioned a word?) Becky and Kelly finally met, worlds and lunch buddies combining.  Becky told me she got a birthday present in the mail – a pink purse from her mother.  Only, instead of packing peanuts or bubble wrap, her mother used dollar bills.

Becky: I can’t post that story on fb.

Me: Why?

Becky: Because my mother sounds like she’s the 1% that uses dollars as packing material.

Me: Honestly, I’ve done it before.  Only, I didn’t count the bills – I just put them in until the gift was properly filled and then I got a phone call from Erika asking me if there was a reason why I put $67 dollars with the present. 

Last week I posted something on fb, and my father who never comments on anything, responded with, “Than I.” 

Maureen: I thought she wrote that good:) (Love that we can torture dad on Facebook now:))

Me: And bonus! He can grammar slam us in public!

Frita: nobody sees the humor in grammar!

Me: Oh I think we do. We see it boldly with 32pt. font. :)

Then when I spoke to him he got all upset that I was telling people he needed to read a big font.

Me: I was just trying to translate “hear you loud and clear” for type.

Frita: Oh sure, you just wanted to make me sound old.

Me: Of course not!  Man, some people.  They turn 75 and get all sensitive.

Frita: No true.  I’ve always been sensitive.  My mother said that all the time.

Me: Now I know where I get it from. 

For my dad’s birthday I posted this card on his wall

Frita: Please do not go comparison shopping. You will be so disappointed!

Me: Not a chance, Frita. I mean seriously - I've got a lifetime guarantee on this model that only requires maintenance hugs. Plus, where would I find another that has matching eyes and sarcastic wit?

Frita: Kevin routes for anyone who is playing against the Rangers.

Me: That’s what I do at Mariner’s games! 

And, finally, Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all of the Mom’s out there.  And a very Happy Birthday to Frita, Maureen, Kyle and the 30 and sober Debina!

Better a Beer than a Baby

I met Becky for breakfast on Wednesday.  I was very thankful that I thought in advance to set my alarm for Wednesday at 6 am, because when it did go off I was all, what the… oh! Becky!  Sure.  I’ll get up for that.  When I got there I found out that I wasn’t the only one who was done in by hopscotch.  Becky told me, “My legs are still sore from your party and my arm is sore from prayer group last night.” 

However, because I set this alarm for Wednesday, when I re-set it for 3 am Thursday night, I forgot that it was set for a specific day.  So you can imagine my surprise when my driver called (waking me up) at 4:12 to say, “Tiffany?  Are you ready?  The car is waiting outside for you.”  I tried going to sleep at 9 the night before but was still up at 1 so I appreciated the extra hour of sleep – but I have never dressed so quickly.  Despite the conversation I had with Becky weeks earlier…

Becky:  Tiffany is a terrible packer.

Me: I’m a GREAT packer.

Becky.  You wait until three hours before you’re leaving.

Me: No.  Three hours before I leave is when I start doing laundry. 

Given this information, I was pretty pleased that I had packed and showered before I fell asleep so I could make a mad dash out the door.  I read Deadlocked on the plane (I need to talk to someone about this so… please let me know if you finished it. Kthnx)  When we got back home, I made some coffee and we had an impromptu pizza gathering on my parent’s patio.  A couple neighbors came by which was lovely including my sister’s buddy Robin.   I don’t remember the subject matter, but I was surprised by who was saying what in this conversation.

Robin: Oh, I don’t want look it up (on the computer).

Frita: Robin! Why do we have the internets if you aren't going to read them?

Mo: It’s Aaron (neighbor)’s birthday.

Me: How do you know?

Mo: Kevin said, “And I hope Aaron has a good birthday” at grace last night.

Right.  That makes sense. 

Briana: Rob has pneumonia.  What’s the etiquette here?  Do I have to stay at home and watch him be sick?  Or can I go out?

Me: You should really go home and check out the situation.

(later.)

Briana: I can’t go out.  I have to watch him cough.  Doesn’t he know it’s Friday night?

I learned that people are calling it, “Cinco de Drinko” now… from my father. 

Saturday was Kevin’s First Holy Communion. 

Frita: You’ll be happy to know we have a reserved pew. 
Me: That does make me happy.

Momela: I still want to leave at 10:15.

Me: For an 11:30 mass!?

Frita: with a reserved pew?!

Momela: Fine.  10:45.

Which was a good thing, because we got there at 11, just as the mass was starting.  Sean and Stacey got there at 11:30 and Sean stood at the back of the church.  The communion candidates were spread out 6 to a pew… basically arm’s length plus an inch for good measure.  After I received communion, I walk back to where Sean was. 

Sean: I want to just sit down next to Kevin. 

Me: Okay, you get communion and when you walk back, sit down with Kevin, and I’ll take your picture. 

Apparently, pictures weren’t allowed and Maureen, in a serious turn of events, was scolding Sean and I, saying that we were a total embarrassment to our father and that everyone saw that John’s son and daughter were breaking the rules.  I think it was worth it. 

Taking pictures in church is hard:

When I told Dawne she said, “And you wonder where Kevin gets it from.”  Actually, no I don’t.  My dad said something funny and sarcastic later that day, and I turned to one of Maureen’s friends who was just commenting about my fb posts, and I was like, “If you were wondering where I get it from.”  And I could tell, that despite knowing our family for the last ten years, it was the first time he put it all together.  J

Lisa and Steve, and Lisa’s parents were all at the party – with their 4 year old son Aiden and 9 month old twins, Chase and Gavin.  I was amazing by how easy going the twins were, going to anyone and everyone one… and not complaining one bit.  Bailey and I were quick swipe them up – and we may also have raced them a bit.  Chase won, but only because he quickly blocked Gavin’s path.  I think Gavin tried to hold only Chase’s pants to slow him down, but Chase was not to be deterred. 

Steve:  It's so much nicer to hold a beer than a baby.

Lisa’s Dad: Here (about to hand Steve a baby.)

Steve: But my hands are full.

(Baby was then place in his other arm.)

Steve: I knew I should have taken two beers. 

Bailey: I have Chase.  Gavin has two teeth, Chase has one.  One tooth for every syllable.

Lisa: That makes sense. As they grow, I’m sure I’ll have plenty of names to go with every one of their teeth. 

Steve: Did you tell pop-pops about the uga truck?

Me: The what?

Steve: The Uga Truck.  We get out milk delivered, regular milk and chocolate milk.   Aiden couldn’t say Chocolate when he was little so he started calling it the Uga Truck.  He invites kids into his truck sometimes.  With parents.  He’s not a creepy guy. 

Me: Why ever would I think he was creepy?  A man inviting small children into his truck, there’s nothing creepy about that.

Also, Aiden’s pop-pops must have been exhausted because every time he started to sit down, I heard, “Pop-pops!” and Mr. M was back up and running.  He tried to get away at one point, but as he started to get into the car, Aiden yelled, “Pop-pops!” and Mr. M got a couple more hours of quality grandson time. 

Still at the party, when a neighbor, Helen came over. 

Morgan (my niece): Her name is Helen?  You need to be careful not to say her name too fast or else you’ll curse.

Me: That’s really good advice.

Morgan: Yeah, also be careful of Hello, Helicopter and shih tzu.

Me: And cocker spaniel and dictator!

Morgan: Wait, what? 

Me: Nevermind. 

My mom: That’s a good question actually.  Would you rather be called a dictator or the shortened version? 

Kenny: Have you told Mrs. Travis that you wrote a book?

Me: No. I don’t know how to contact her.

Kenny: It’s called the LHS web site. 

Me: They have one of those?  I hear school’s aren’t using chalk anymore either.  Crazy. 

Kenny: I can’t believe you. 

Me: What? I looked her up on facebook, and when I couldn’t find her, I assumed she didn’t want to be contacted. 

This is after Kenny read Out of the Box and on every page he pressed all of the spots to make the guys giggle and drool etc.  I think he spent a good three minutes on the first page.  It was awesome. 

It’s been so long since I’ve played Chess that I forgot that you could get pieces back if your pawn’s got to the other side. Pathetic.  Anyway, I got a couple games in with Patrick and Kevin, got Kyle’s birthday present and then went to Kevin’s soccer game.  I got some pretty awesome shots of another kid, but here is a shot of my Godson:

Then I ran over to get a present for Frita. I had two hours (which is plenty of time to buy a computer and set it up before he notices we’re in the house.)  Turns out we weren’t as quiet as I thought.  Also, we asked Kyle to make a card from all of his children and grandchildren so he made a card from Kyle, and then Mo added the rest of us.  I guess if we wanted top billing we should have done it ourselves. 

Plane ride was relatively uneventful, except for the guy next me who was a bit of a chatter box, and not in a good way.  I’m reading Jenny Lawson’s memoir “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened.”  It’s Brill. Maybe, my mind frame wasn’t in nice mode.  But I don’t need to justify why I own an iPad, nor do I want to explain how the onboard entertainment varies between airlines, the etiquette for sitting on a plane (yes he asked), nor do I want to wake you up so you can be sure to get food or find you sleeping on me (he had the woman on the other side do this for him and she had to physically shake him awake).  When he asked me why I had my light on when I closed my eyes for 5 minutes, I wanted to explain because I’m not trying to sleep, I’m trying not to throw up.  But instead I said, “Is it bothering you?”  Which took an enormous amount of self-control.  I heard the other woman say, I’m not really a talker on planes, and he responded with “Oh.  I am.”  Yep.  Got that memo.  When I landed, I turned on my phone to get a call from Zach to say the driver was at the house instead of the airport – I think we can call it even now. 

(I forgot to mention, as a follow up to my mom’s warning last week… before I could get off the plan in NY, 6 police officers came onto the plane and escorted someone off.  DRAMA! Unlike so many others, I didn’t take any pictures.  Sry.)

I hope you had a great weekend!