This update is going to be all over the
place. I need to go back in time a bit
and cover items that I left out from a couple of weeks ago and then I’ll fill
you in on what happened last week. It’ll be a bouncy pin ball machine of an
update – which is much more similar to how my brain works anyway – I usually
only pull it together and organize for the “historical” accuracy factor.
Before I left on the trip, we got a surprise visit
from my Uncle Bill. He lives in
Illinois, so we don’t get to see him very often. My mom’s family grew up in Chicago, so even
though people have moved out of the state, it’s still basically the home base
of the family.
Uncle Bill: Next time you're in town (Chicago), you should give me
a call.
Zach: Okay, will do. Next time somebody dies.
(We don't make it out to Chicago that often.)
In reference to the one pound puppy in our house,
Luke said, “The “baby” is not of earth.
That dog is made of Prometheus bacteria.”
There are 3 dogs in the house now, and yesterday,
as Zach was walking from the kitchen to the living room, he mentions, “You
can't go four feet without running into another dog that you have to pet.”
I posted a picture of Nala in a pink Tinker Bell
shirt
Me: I don’t think she cares for collared shirts.
BDug: If rage were a tiny shivering dog, it would
be this one.
My nephews have started to text me. My first conversation with Kevin went like
this:
Kevin: It’s me Kevin. Write back soon.
Me: Hiya Kevin!
How’s the summer going?
Kevin: J
Are you sure you want to know?
That’s my Godson.
When we got on the plane to go down to Florida,
there was this little kid sitting in front of me.
Flight Attendant (to kid): You’re here! You’re right here!
Nate: Where am I?
WHERE AM I!?
Me: You’re
here! You’re right here!
(Rinse and repeat over the next 7 days.)
We were also soaking wet for much of the
trip. At one point, with every bit of
clothing and skin dripping and drenched to the core, for hours, I heard Nate
announce, “Oh no. I got water in my
shoes. There’s water IN my SHOES. “Not
even trying to keep a straight face, I told him how upsetting that must
be. He told me he would keep me updated
on the situation as it developed. And he
did to my everlasting delight.
I think Kathi, the German, if hilarious. She shared an album from our trip and I think
her captions are so hilarious that I need you to look for yourself:
I started watching Game of Throne’s with Cassidy
(one of three of Zach’s friends who are staying with us this summer.) I told Zach that I was going to work on
getting his friends to love me while he was out of town for a week. I felt like Colin and I needed to bond, so I
suggested we watch the Gilmore Girls together – half kidding. Then I went up to watch GoT with
Cassidy. As we were walking upstairs, I
heard Colin yell, “I’m still sulking!!” I thought the sulk was b/c of having to
watch anything with me – but the next day I found out he told people about
watching GG with me, and when I got home he asked when we were going to get
started. WOOT! 4 episodes in and I think I’ve won Lorelei
and Rory some new fans! (and yes, I’m
making Colin sing “Where you lead” with me.)
In other news, I started watching Bunheads last night. I love it!
(Momela, if you haven’t gotten on this yet, you need to ASAP. It is
another Amy Sherman-Palladino work of genius.
I think my favorite line was when the main character is walking down the
street and an old man is like “You takin’ a walk?” and she says, “Uh. Yes.” And he says, “Wanna walk my dog?” I think I’ll try that some time.
SPOILER ALERT
I had breakfast with Becky on Thursday. As we were going out to our cars, I mentioned
that I would be getting my plates the next day.
Becky: Oh please tell me you
are going to get proper license plate frames.
It is so incredibly tacky when people leave the dealer plates. You pay so much money for a car and then you
can’t even be bothered to get new frames?
That is just the pinnacle of laziness and low class.
Me: Dude, I have new frames
ready to be put on… get off my ca--- Wait, a goddamn minute. You still have the dealer frames on your
caryou’re your car is over a year old!
Becky: Oh. I guess I do.
That’s embarrassing.
(I didn’t like the hypocrite choices, but this card made me
chuckle, so yw.)
The next day…
Becky: Good morning! I am
sooooo tired... I think original pancake
house gave me regular coffee yesterday.
I felt wired when we left, but I thought I was just all jazzed from
seeing you. Then during my NOA meeting
it didn't wear off. I texted Jared,
"Either they gave me regular coffee this morning or I'm coming down with
Parkinson's." Then I was up until midnight, so I took a unisom. I took another at 1am, and finally got to
sleep around 2.
I adore that she thought I could energize her that much but I also
hope this doesn’t mean we have to stop going to the OPH.
On Saturday was Diana’s 30th birthday party. There was this five year old with a Mohawk
grabbing for some fruit.
Zach: Did he just call us ingrates?
Me: He said “Kiwi and grapes.”
Zach: Oh! I was going to say
this kid has a great vocabulary. That’s
a great idea though. I think I’m going
to teach my kids really intelligent insults to use instead of cursing.
Me: You
should start getting in the habit now then.
(More awesome pictures can be found here: http://www.stagefilm.net/)
(More awesome pictures can be found here: http://www.stagefilm.net/)
Me: Our family or their family?
Zach: Their
Dawne: He already knows how people feel about our family.
Zach was talking about cloud cover and temperatures, and what might be causing the heat across the US.
Zach was talking about cloud cover and temperatures, and what might be causing the heat across the US.
Me: That’s how about my film noir class.
I ran back from the party to quickly change before
Adam arrived to take some photographs.
(I’m not sure if you’re supposed to “quickly” get ready for a photo
shoot, but I guess that’s what photo shop is for? :P Anyway, I was totally nervous to have that
much focus and attention on myself.
Plus, I have no idea what to do with my face at any given time. I think it’s fair to say that Adam was able
to capture my personality and life philosophy of “Not being able to take
anything seriously” in this one photo:
Zach: I can't believe someone would hate their
family.
Zach: You know, even though I hated that
environmental weather class, I learned a lot of information that I’ll never
use.
Uncle Ray: What do you mean? You just used it!
Jordan:
That would be helpful if you were working for me right now.
Me: But I’m not.
Uncle Ray: Why would you take a film noir class?
Dawne: It
was a part of her major. I just wanted
my dad to know weren't a f*ck up.
Jordan: I think you meant “wasn’t always a f*ck up.”
Zach’s three friends’ sleeping arrangements got moved around last
week while we had another family staying with us. After they left yesterday, Dawne got their
rooms ready for them again.
Dawne: You can move back to your old rooms now.
Cassidy: Right now?
Dawne: Yup. They’re ready.
Cassidy: That’s GREAT! I’ll tell Shannon right now. YAY! Thank you soooo much!
Dawne: I didn’t think she’d be that excited to get back to the
brown house.
Me: Oh. Well, apparently Shannon and Cassidy have been calling one
of the beds “Nightmare Bed” because whom ever has slept in that bed, has had
crazy nightmares. They tried to steal Colin’s couch, but Colin wasn’t budging
because he also didn’t want to sleep in “Nightmare Bed.”
--I’m never going to tell you which bed is nightmare bed… now who
wants to come visit?---
Shana and I get this text from Jen last week that is just the
sweetest thing. She’s was thanking us
for our friendship and telling us how amusing we are and that “We are really
truly humorous and that counts for alot” and just a bunch of really nice
words.
Me: I’m glad you didn’t include Laina. She would have said something snarky about
making “a lot” one word. And then I
posted: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
Jen: I like this alot. Also
thanks for grammar slamming me right after I told you you're my funniest friend
:P
(I’m not good at receiving complements.)
As some of you might know my sister is much tougher than I am. She is a self-proclaimed, uncompassionate
(though that seems harsh to me… which maybe just emphasizes the point)
individual who rarely cries or gets emotional.
Last year, when someone was retiring there was another teacher who was
crying at the ceremony/last day. Maureen
basically told this chick that she was a big baby and that it wasn’t like the
person was dying, they were just retiring.
I wouldn’t be surprised if there was additional mocking from my sister
on that day and days to follow. Now, at
the end of this school year, the head of the math department was retiring (who
was also Maureen’s mentor.) Maureen
started getting a little emotional and immediately ran to the bathroom to
hide. When she got there, who was also
in that bathroom? The same woman who Mo
had mocked mercilessly the year before. She knew she was in for it, and even
tried to take the mocking on the following days, until she couldn’t handle
being the one who was getting made fun of and said something to the effect of,
“The only reason why I got weepy like a little girl is because I’ve been
hanging out with babies like you too much.”
Or maybe she just quoted that old drug commercial, “I LEARNED IT FROM
WATCHING YOU” either way, really mature.
Other updates, I went to the eye doctor and either I have some
permanent eye damage… or more likely… this is falling into the “Tiffany takes
forever to heal” category. They also
gave me new contacts that make my eyeballs uncomfortable, so plan on me
blinking a lot for the next week as I pretend to get used to these. When I went to get a mani/pedi, the Vietnamese
chick there gave me a lecture about getting lasik, and despite how many times
my brother has told me to get lasik, this chick solved main issue with the
surgery.
Me: I don’t know. I don’t
like knowing that I can’t rub my eyes afterwards.
Chick: Just don’t do that.
Me: But what about when you’re in the shower and water gets in your
eyes!
Chick: Don’t take a shower.
Dawne: You don’t know
her. That’s not an option.
Chick: Fine. Have someone else wash your hair in a salon
for a week or wear goggles in the shower.
Now my concern seems *almost* silly. I’ll keep you posted.
My nephew, Kyle, came walking out onto the deck holding a 10 pound
bible in only his underpants.
Mo: Are you wearing underpants?
Kyle: YES! Mom, how old is
the youngest saint? Can I be a saint?
Mo: You have to perform two
miracles.
Kyle: I do come every time you call us to help you.
Mo: So close, Honey!
Have a great fourth people!
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