I did Yoga once in college, and afterwards, my friend told
me to never ever do it again. Ten years
later, I decided to jump right into Hot Yoga, not just beginner's Hot Yoga, but
POWER Yoga, with a really difficult instructor.
The office has been on a health kick, and I though, hey, I can handle
one hour during lunch. I probably should
have hydrated beforehand, because I didn't sweat all that much, and I felt a
little dizzy and nauseous. The good news
is I stayed the whole time, and did at least 30% of the workout. There were some sweaty folks around me which
reminded me of this:
My friend bought her fiancé a book on sex positions as a
gift for their wedding night. Sort of funny but also possibly informative! On
Wednesday morning, as she was taking it out of her purse and rushing out the
door to work, she set it on her dining table & thought, "Good thing my
mom isn't coming over because she doesn't need so see that her sweet daughter
has a book called the bible of sex positions." Fast forward.... Her mom calls and wants to
know if she can let herself into my friend's house to drop off her new version
of her will and leave it on the dining table for my friend (never mind the fact
that they were going to dinner together!) She said sure and then when she got
home she saw this:
Still giggling and dying of embarrassment, my friend calls
her mom and explains the book. Her
mother responded with, "Oh! I just saw the word bible and thought it was
cool that you were reading it!"
I asked some friends if they had an old Razor phone (from
AT&T) for my uncle. These are the
helpful responses that I received:
Laina: I don't. I
was never razor cool. I was kickin' it
with a blackberry.
Rach: My dad is still using it for his primary means of
communication.
Laina: Wasn't it RAZR?
Shana: I have a pink Verizon one. Soooo sad that it's not AT&T, since the
image of Ray with a pink phone pleases me.
Shane: I had a Nokia and taped a Gillette razor to it... it
wasn't as slick but I would have every time I answered the phone.
Jen: And keeping it in your front pocket kept you
thoroughly man-scaped.
Shana: I would leave it on vibrate with for that... It's
the same way we circumcised Fynn.
Jen: Oh man I miss you Shane. And the way you leap over that line.
Shana: Pole vault more like it! (With style and grace.)
This quickly led to making plans for a monthly brunch and
Jen volunteering me to host the first occasion.
And Laina warning us that She and Mo might not be able to make it
because he was just getting back form training.
Jen: Laina, when
does Mo come home? Do you plan on having
trouble walking that day?
Laina:
25 minutes later
Jen: Really? Infant circumcision by cellphone razor and
*this* is what clears the room? For
shame.
Laina: Sorry Jen - we've all been on a new thread talking
about a parenting intervention with Shane & Cathy. I'll add you now. But to bring you up to speed, it'll happen at
one of our brunches.
Meanwhile, I was doing a practice SAT essay with Lucas, and
not feeling any better about my essay writing skills.
Later I received this text from Dr. Rach:
This just happened:
Rach: Ok, I'm officially putting it on my calendar for
Sunday... Brunch at Tiff's
Anders: Don't you
mean Breakfast at Tiffany's?
Oddly enough, I did think about writing "Brunch at
Tiffany's" but then remembered that was a pornographic film that was available
at Video Source where I worked in high school.
Still, clearly a missed opportunity.
On Thursday, I went to Happy Hour with some folks from work
with surprise guests, Dr. Rach and Becky.
When we went to pay our bills, I just grabbed Rach's check as well so
that I could use my card. In turn, Dr.
Rach fished some change out of her wallet and handed it to me. I dropped one of the penny's on the floor and
it landed heads down. I then said, far
too loudly, "I'll just put this bad luck penny in Tip Jar." This was promptly followed by adding good
luck money to make up for it.
After Happy Hour, Becky and I went to The Moth in the
basement of the Fremont Abby. We both
thought the MC reminded us of a mutual friend and started talking about the
last time we had seen her.
Me: Yeah, that was the time I went to their house and ended
up hanging out with the little kids the whole time.
Becky: You were probably happier.
Me: That's true.
They get me.
Becky went to
this book club event with some co-workers in which you walk around carrying a
book, and then go up to strangers and talk to them about the book you
read. The first time she went to the
event, she brought a book with a cat on the cover. She had such a good time that she decided she
would bring a Bible to the following meeting.
She could carry it proudly saying, "Have you ever heard of this
one? It's a real best seller. You might have heard of some of the
characters. Moses? Jesus? Seriously, you're going to love
it."
If you have never heard of The Moth, it's an event where
people go up on stage and tell a story on a particular subject. On Thursday, the subject was Envy. It was pretty funny.
My favorite story was about a guy who grew up dirt poor and
didn't have any friends. His parents
made some shady trades and he ended up with a trombone that he played until he
was awesome. Then, in 9th grade, for the
very first time, he was invited to hang out at a friend's house. Ben played the guitar so they were going to
jam together. When he arrived, Ben told
him that he could go into the pantry and get a snack. He had never had a pantry, never mind an
abundance of snacks to choose from. When
he went into the closet and saw a giant box of chewy granola bars with the
delicious chocolate chips he thought to himself, "F-- Ben and his box of
granola bars!" and proceeded to eat an entire Costco sized box of chewy
bars. Was never invited back after
that.
Saturday the weather continued to be gorgeous so Dr. Rach
and I went on a hike. We brought Zach,
his two friends, and the three dogs.
Given that I am extremely out of shape, I was very happy to have the
dogs as an excuse to why I was going so slowly.
I still felt bad that I was hold everyone up, but was also feeling a
little nauseous, so I didn't speed up either.
I wonder if Dr. Rach will ask me to go on a hike again? :P We
were pretty sleep when we got back (not having lunch might have also
contributed to our fatigue.) I gathered
my last bits of energy to go to the grocery store but could not, would not, go
to Costco like I had planned. By 8PM, I
climbed into bed and fell asleep until 5 the next morning when Percy was ready
to get up and play again.
Oh! Percy lost another tooth. Here it is hanging out to its side before
Percy would eventually just swallow it.
I missed Kyle's First Holy Communion, and I was feeling
terrible about it. I called him to see
how the party was going and I heard a lot of "Why don't you love Kyle as
much as your other nieces and nephews!?"
Way to make me feel terrible guys!
Here's a picture of the handsome guy:
Sunday, the previously mentioned brunch commenced. I only freaked out once, after everything was
completely ready and didn't know how to proceed after that. I think, all in all, it went well. After everyone filled up, we headed down to
the pool and then the boat because it was that lovely out. I commented on how coordinated Jen and her
two daughters were in their purple bathing suits and purple outfits.
Me: Do you just always buy purple for everyone so that you
always match?
Jen: This was completely a coincidence.
Lucas: I always buy red, white and blue. I love
America. Yes, I realize it is also the colors of lesser nations like Great
Britain and France.
Lucas also told
the people in the pool his desire to name his children Clifford and Pashmina
Shaw (Cliff and Pasha for short.)
Dawne: I like
how your wife has no say in this.
Lucas: No,
she'll come to me and say "I want children named Clifford and Pashmina
Shaw."
Michelle: And
that's how he'll know that she's the one.
Dawne: I'm
surprised that Ashley said she doesn't want her own kids, she just wants to
take care of someone else's.
Ashley: I just
don't want to have the baby.
Lucas: You can only truly appreciate through the
pain.
Michelle: Spoken
from someone with experience.
I'm not going to lie, I could have fallen asleep at 8 again
on Sunday, but instead, we went to see Iron Man 3. Maybe my expectations are low, but I thought
it was a delight. On our way in, we were
talking about a song from the 20's that was about a wonderful world etc, and
Lucas said, "Little did they know a year later the stock market would
crash." That's when I felt like he
jinxed us all, and I wanted to make a note of it for posterity.
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