Hitting the Ground

When I was in college, I was very self-conscious and nervous when I went to the dining halls.  Initially, my apprehension revolved around carrying a tray and having someone knock down my tray, or falling with a tray full of food a la every high school movie I had ever seen.  And the next phase of my insecurity stemmed from the fact that there were new people around me who seemed very intent on what I was saying (they obviously didn’t know me very well) and I was compelled to take tiny bites to avoid a food related embarrassment.  Small bites require a lot of cutting, and I don’t even know how to use a butter knife, so the whole thing was not my favorite time of the day.  I’d like to say that I’ve grown more confident, but honest to goodness, when I bring a salad back to my office to eat at my desk, everything comes crashing back.  No piece of spinach, broccoli or pepper is quite small enough and people are walking by all the time and damn it, something just fell on my shirt so I have to wear a sweatshirt for the rest of the day.  Thanks food.

Started T25 last week.  We’ve all been a part of this facebook T25, Beach Body Challenge.  I think I mentioned earlier how I joined accidentally.  Well, we started and Shane asked us all for an update and Becky posted, “I forgot to get Ice this morning so I could have the shakes.  I didn’t so much hit the ground running as I just hit the ground.”  I guess me too because I did the videos for day 1 and 2 and then my back started to hurt so I laid down on the floor for an hour afterwards not moving while Percy would occasionally come and by and lick my face to make sure that I was still alive.  I switch to walking for an hour in the park every day and doing some yoga which was much better.  I particularly like when I go from plank/lying on the floor (at which point Percy will come and lie down on my back) to downward dog, and my puppy literally goes downward. 

Most of the office was down at SDCC, which was kind of nice.  We moved down to the “Garden Level” AKA the basement.  It’s pretty cool.  The lights are on, which is always an improvement.  You have press a big scary red button to get out of the office, and the windows look out to the dumpsters, but other than that, I kinda love it. 

Cassidy and Spencer, two of the interns, have graciously decided to watch Game of Thrones with me.  I can’t watch them by myself because I don’t want to, so they are taking one for the whole team.   Meanwhile, on Sunday…

Zach: I found a new show that you’re going to love.  It’s called Moone Boy.

Me: I hate that you think I’d love a show called Moon Boy.  But Okay, let’s do it.

We then proceeded to watch the entire season, followed by an entire season of Goodwin Games.  I highly recommend Moone Boy.  So fun. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kB7Lk4f1ejg

Got a text Friday night from Sean, they were in my old stomping grounds (this was the view from my apartment in college).

And this is my niece Morgan (she and Jackie went to soccer camp) rocking the Penn State gear:

I had zero plans last weekend, and I was ecstatic about it.  I finally got a bridesmaid dress that actually fits for Janette’s wedding so I could then call her and tell her that I got a dress for the wedding.  Chatting with her for a while Saturday morning, then took the dogs to the park followed by lunch outside at MOD pizza.  Got a bunch of chores done that I should have been doing for the last month but didn’t have time for.  Watched a bunch of TV went to the dog park again and then relaxed again.  It was amazing but makes for a pretty dull update.  Sorry kids! But I’m just about to get caught up on these.  We’ll see how it goes next week!

You're the idiot who sent me.

-- Week of 7/8-7/14—

Last week started out strong with Diana and Jason over for dinner.  Uncle Ray was asking Jason if he had seen a movie. 

Jason: Is the MacGyver guy in it?

Uncle Ray: No...

Jason: Then, no, I didn't watch it.

On Wednesday evening, Matty and I took the dogs to the park, returned the keg and then, since we were already there, we had a beer at the Malt and Vine.  This is when I found out that the Teriyaki place next door delivers to the Malt and Vine... game on.

On Thursday, morning I woke up at 5 am and made homemade mac and cheese, chex and dessert, plus played with Percy all before work.  Why did I wake up so early?  Well, you know how on Christmas morning little kids wake up excited about opening presents?  I had a similar feeling, only instead of presents, my parents were coming in to town and I could contain my eagerness for their arrival.  I did go to work and did my very best get everything done so I could take a day off.  Running to the grocery store, I made it home 5 minutes before they arrived - YAY!   Percy was better at waiting…

My parents often travel with their friends Mary Jo and Dick.  Mary Jo and my mom have been friends since elementary school.  When they were younger, Mary Jo's mother would ask my mother (1 year older) and my Aunt Maureen (2 1/2 years older) to baby-sit Mary Jo and her younger sisters.  On one such occasion, Aunt Maureen sent Mary Jo out for a pizza.  Only, Mary Jo had a bike at the time.

Momela: She carried it side wise on the way home.

Mary Jo: What did you expect! I couldn't hold it flat, I had to have two hands on my bike.

Momela: Tiffany, you don't understand, we didn't have cardboard boxes back then, they put pizzas in a paper bag.

(I'm dying with laughter at this point.)

Mary Jo: You're the idiot who sent me!

The next day, I took my parents over to Norm's, and then a quick tour to show off Seattle and all the different places where I spend my days.  On Friday night, all of my friends came over for a BBQ and to play Things in a Box.  Here are some sound bites:

Question:  What do you like to wake up to?

Answers: Bacon cooking at the foot of my bed, the person who I went to sleep with, Sunshine, Thunder. 

Momela: Jordan who I slept with.

Jordan: Yes, but I'm uncomfortable with how you phrased that.

Dawne: Raymond couldn't have said Hanky, he doesn't even know how to spell that!

Frita: That's how I knew that Dawne said, "Knows more than me" because anyone else would have written, "knows more than I." 

And a throw back from like 7 years ago because I wasn't writing these at that point and it's still funny. 

Question: Things found [in] a Manual.

Matty: Sombreros.

On Saturday, we took a trip to the Olympic Peninsula, Port Townsend and Hurricane Ridge.  We saw deer up close - so close that I had a deer walk/cut across 6 inches from me, slowly and without hesitation and then stand there, unafraid.  It was pretty awesome.  Percy and the deer could care less about each other (thankfully.)  It was a nice 9 hour day trip all in all. 

Mary Jo: You're a great driver.

Dick: Really, it was so smooth that I fell asleep several times.

Me: No one has ever said that to me before.

Mary Jo:  Thanks so much for driving.

Dawne: Of course she drove, otherwise she'd be throwing up in the back. 

Me: True story. 

On Sunday, I took the gang to church.

Priest: A young gentleman asked me where I came from today.  I was going to tell him "God, of course" but then decided to tell him the more literal answer, "Jurassic Park."  I kinda wish this guy would be a regular because after hearing him speak, I immediately started trying to be a better person. 

Frita: How's life going?

Zach: I didn't expect to be so busy - I work two days a week now!

Me: I'm starting this T25 beach body thing next week.  25 minutes a day for 5 weeks. 

Frita: Isn't that called Lent?

K I'm going to try to work on catching up.  I hope you all had a great week and I promise to start being a better, more attentive, friend & family member to you real soon. 

I'll Get You For This

Update for 7/8/13

We had the pleasure of both Nate and Matty's company last week - all we were missing was Diana for a reunion circa 2004.  Our Monday night, we were having dinner and we started pulling out our apple devices, racing and looking things up. 

Lucas: I forgot about clever bot; now that I've remembered I'm going to be so much happier.

Matty:  All of these ads are for depressed people.  Oh wait, maybe that's from my searches.

Me: Awk...ward.

Lucas: Let's watch the Italian Job!

Me: Yes! Let's!

Dawne: We can't watch it down here.  It's miserable to be in these chairs.

Lucas: Our vocabulary has lost all meaning.

Me: Hi! Where are you?

Frita: We're in Carny - I think, we're in Nebraska. I'm at a gas station and I had to pay for gas inside with cash. Earlier, I fell asleep for an hour and when I woke up it looked exactly the same.  Here's your mom. 

Listen guys, every once in a while I make a note of something and then I cannot remember what it is in reference to.  In this case, not knowing the context has delayed this email until now, and I can't let the details hold me back.  I was 99% sure that Nate said this, but he can't keep track of all the witty things he says so I'll just leave this here....

"I'll even push you down so you scrape your knee. Oh you want a band aid? Happy to help!"

Lucas and Dawne said this at two different times, unaware of the other's comment:  Apparently, Percy is Jesus.  He can walk on water.  Here's a visual of Percy on the pool cover (pssst don't tell Jordan.)

We were trying out Zach's new game over some snacks. 

Lucas: It's food of my people time.

But then we realized the Matzo didn't have any salt on it.  My solution was to lick the Matzo then sprinkle salt. 

Lucas: It's envelope time.  It's like sending a beautiful love letter to my tummy.

Zach was telling us about this Budweiser lawsuit with a town in Europe called Budwieser and the company.  After he finished this, he went into telling us another lawsuit story about Vodka.  The only comment any of us had for Zach's knowledge came from his brother Nate:  Did you just try to make the argument that 100 year old lawsuits are not that rare?

On Thursday, Zach and Matty helped me get the Keg from the Malt and Vine.  As we were passing by the retirement home that was closed for construction Matty said, " Oh did they all die? Did they just say 'No new people, we're waiting for all of these people to die so that we can remodel.' "

After we picked up the Keg, we stopped for coffee, which I bought, in thanks for helping me with manual labor and all.  Matty's response? "I'll get you for this."

We had our annual party on the fourth.  Percy had an amazing time... and so did Fynn, AKA, BATMAN.  :)

On Friday, after cleaning up the party, and then work, I headed out to Friday Harbor for Dr. Rach's bachelorette party.  Before I left to catch the ferry, Matty said, "Hypothetically speaking, how would I watch another episode of moonshiners?"  Right, hypothetically.  :)

By the time I met the other ladies at the house, I already felt like I was missing some of the inside jokes from earlier in the day which put me behind in "Loaded Questions" (although to be honest I think my humor is too clean to ever win that game.)  For example, one answer to the questions, "Things you shouldn't do on a date" was "rape them."  During dinner, when there was a lull in the conversation, Laina helpfully supplied, "I guess it's time to talk about my dead Dad."  My only contribution was to disclose that while waiting for the ferry I was working on fake smile (so I would look better in pictures.)  I tries to show everyone, but the real smile kept coming out.  And that's why I’ll never look good in Photos. 

On Saturday, we all went to go Kayaking.  Unfortunately, the water was too much for Laina's neck, so we both went back to show for some lunch and adult beverages (you can imagine how heartbroken I was to have to do the alternative activity.)  Before we turned back, Laina was telling us about how when her mother was at the doctor, after having a procedure for skin cancer, the doctor reviewed all of the standard warnings, including "keeping the area out of the sun." Laina's mother's response was, "It's my vagina! It's never seen the sun!"  Of course, Laina said this story as we were passing this older gentleman fixing his boat.  To his credit, he refrained from commenting on the story.  We also learned that Laina's cousin goes over to her mom's house every week to help with odds and ends around the house.  On one of these occasions, Laina's mom said, "Can you help me buy a new Bra?  I need another one of these" and then proceeded to lift up her shirt and show the cousin exactly what she needed.  

Rachel and her sister Stephanie were telling us about their Italian grandmother.  Apparently she has a tendency to call people Charlie when she doesn't like their real names.  They had a fish called "Qubert."  No-No said "I call you Charlie."  She would pick Charlie up in her hand and pet him saying, "He like. He like."  Sometimes she would tap on the glass and when she did not receive a proper response, she would say, "You-a estupid fish." Sadly, she was very upset when she accidentally cooked the fish by refilling the tank using hot water.  :(

I've told you, previously (http://www.sweetandsarcastic.com/2011/04/hindsight-hilarity.html) that Dr. Rach has multiple "Butt Cheek" stories.  She was telling another PT doctor, Lauren, about her butt cheek method, to which Lauren said, "I'm doing this, this week."

Shana: Apparently, she's doing it whether or not they need it.  "My elbow hurts." "I have just the thing!"

Finally, on Sunday morning, we were sitting down for breakfast, when Shana said, "I'm really glad that you're marrying Anders, Rachel...because you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube."

I'll try to catch up with what happened last week sometime this week... maybe. :)  Hope all is well!

Percy Walks with Pride

I went to Kidd Valley for lunch the other day, and there was this couple with a small child.  I mentioned that I liked that they were very matchy match.  They apparently didn't notice that the three of them were all wearing bright orange.  I asked the little boy what he had been doing with his grandparents and the grandpa said that they played some whiffle ball.

Me: Did you have fun?

Boy: Well, I didn't break any windows.

My friend has been very into getting fit over the past year.  He posted an invitation to join his beach body challenge on Facebook.  I saw the invite, but to be honest, kind of ignored it.  But then, I got a message from him saying, "Really!? I’m so glad you're doing this!"  I told Becky how I didn't have the heart to tell him that I accidentally signed up for the challenge.  Rather than correcting him, I decided to do it and wouldn't she like to join us?  After she stopped laughing at me, she went home and started to panic because she has a phobia of diets.  Luckily, Jared walked her through it calmly and now-- we're starting the beach body challenge in a couple of weeks!

Seeing as I still have a couple of weeks, and it has been crazy hot, when Dawne asked me what I wanted for dinner on Tuesday, I said Fro Yo.  Derrick and Zach mocked my usage of the term "Fro Yo" but they also decided it was a good idea to join us, so. There. 

All of the puppies got Giardia last week.  Two weeks ago, a sewage pipe broke in our yard, and before we even knew about it, the dogs were all up in it.  You know, because dogs are gross.  As we took them inside to get baths Dawne said, "Now, they are going to get Giardia."  4 days later, Casper showed signs so she brought him to be tested, actually before he was positive.  And then on Monday, when Percy showed the first sign, we brought all three to the doctor where they all got IV's for dehydration and lots of medicine. 

Me:  Percy seems pretty happy for such a sick dog.

Dawne: That’s because he has a mom that when she sees him have diarrhea once, rushes him to the vet. 

Me: Oh yeah.  He does have one of those.  

Dawne's dogs also come right up to her and practically open their mouth to get medicine.  Meanwhile, Percy, is suspicious of all treats, assuming that they all contain something peculiar.  When trying to get the eye dropper in his mouth, he burrows his head so you can get to his mouth.  Dawne said it was because her dogs know the medicine will make them feel better, I think they just love her more. 

I finally saw the Avengers, and I loved it.  I also got a haircut, which made me really happy.  11 inches shorter, and back to blonde.  I *immediately* felt cheerier.  It was a long dark 7 months of being a brunette that weighed my soul down.  So happy to be back to myself - and just in time for a heat wave!   Two weeks ago, someone at work asked me to make shirts for the pride parade, and miraculously, my partner was able to create shirts in time.  As our mailing system can often be delayed, I asked the boxes to be sent to me at the Fed Ex place near the office.  This would have working out well, if they hadn't then sent it UPS.  Long story short, UPS was amazing and put me in touch with the driver who then met me at 7:30PM at UPS office.  Although, originally, it sounded like I was going to have to drop everything and meet the UPS guy as soon as he called me - which kinda messed with my plans of getting a haircut.  And no, canceling my haircut was NOT an option.  After I picked up the shirts, thankful for both receiving them and that they fit into my FIAT, I met the fam for Teriyaki and then Becky and Jared for drinks at the Malt and Vine - all with Percy in tow.  :)

On Saturday, I am sure we did something awesome, but I can't remember ANYTHING.  Oh wait, that's not true.  We were going somewhere and Lucas, in 90 degree weather, comes downstairs in sneakers and socks that nearly came up to his knees.

Lucas: Why are you laughing at me?

Dawne: I'm not laughing at you.  You're doing something funny, on purpose, I'm laughing with you.

Lucas:  This was not to make you laugh, this was because they were the only socks that were a pair.

Dawne: Come on.  You did purposely to make me laugh.

Lucas: I give up. 

Dawne: I'm allowed to go to Luke's shows as long as I don't yell, "I'm Lucas' mom!"

Lucas: And yet, it happens every time. 

(Photo Credit to Co-Worker Catie)

On Sunday, I got up early so that Percy and I could go to the Seattle Pride Parade and walk with the Warthog and 343.  My co-worker had a Great Dane, and the contrast between the two was amazing.  Another co-worker made Percy famous by tweeting about him.  He got bored waiting for the parade to start so he fell asleep - but once we got going he was so happy and proud walking along as if the crowd was totally cheering for him, and him alone.  At one point, a drag queen saw the Warthog and yelled, "I want to play with your toy!" and stopped the parade so she could jump onto the Warthog.  Classic. 

http://kotaku.com/microsoft-sends-a-halo-warthog-to-the-seattle-pride-par-633762039

We finished up the day with some pool time and a BBQ at Diana and Jason's.  We played some corn hole, and I managed to get one of the bean bags onto the roof.  Whoops!  I hope you all had an awesome week... and that you have a beautiful fourth!