Googleyed Antics

Just another Monday afternoon at the office:

I read something that had all of the facts on drinking water, health benefits and dehydration in the US.  Then it told you all the benefits of Coca-Cola like taking rust of nails - which is super helpful! I brought this up to my co-workers, as I was sipping my Coke Zero.  I just love Coke Zero so much, and I don't like water at all.  Even with a straw - though with a straw does make everything a little better.  However, we did just get an ice machine at work.   Straw + Ice made it a little harder to avoid water all together.  Taking the water bottle that Dr. Rach gave me, I filled it with ice and water and this Mi0 liquid enhancer - and suddenly I was just drinking a healthier kool-aid.  I can do that between Coke Zero's (and secretly hope that the Coke Zero, like the rust on a nail, is eroding the fat cells in my body. That's how it works right?)

Me: I need more Mi0, this water tastes too much like... water.

If Roy had been there, he would have quoted Karen: Ugh, someone put orange juice in my vodka. 

Ten minutes later, I was off to a meeting, and went to take a sip from my beverage, but the lid wasn't completely on and I spill red liquid all down my bright blue shirt.  Luckily, I have a box of sample shirts next to my desk for just such an occasion.

Co-worker upon seeing starbursts on the desk: Oh look! Someone left us fruit!

This is what I saw in the elevator:

And this is what my art director saw on his comic:

So clearly, someone has gone google-y at the office. 

I was having a bad week last week, but I got cheered up real quick when I got these in the mail:

http://www.ohmagif.com/gif/0811/cat-eating-corn-flakes.gif

http://rgifs.gifbin.com/112011/1320956370_cat_eats_pasta.gif

http://www.ohmagif.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/halloween-cat-eating-food.gif

I had a nightmare that one of my co-workers got fired.  I mean, full on panic, yelling at everyone, kind of nightmare.  When I told Corrinne about it the next day, she then got all wigged out and actually asked her boss if her job was in danger. We can all rest easy knowing that my dreams are not reality.

Lucas and I watched a mini Jim Carey marathon of Liar Liar, Man in the Moon and the Truman Show - all of which Lucas had never seen.  Can you IMAGINE!? :)

Co-Worker Ryan: So, I was eating two popsicles in bed last night... 

Ryan's neighbor: RYAN! TWO POPSICLES!? I'm going to Dr. Dentist tomorrow and I'm telling him all about this. 

On Thursday, I found out that the trip to CA to spend with Sean, Stacey and the fam for labor day weekend, was actually supposed to be the weekend before labor day.  Part of me knew that the cost, and my work schedule to change my flight 9 days out, would be very irresponsible.  But then, I thought, I really want to go, so that's what I'm doing this weekend. I'll tell you all about it real soon. 

This weekend, I decided I needed to pack up my room to make it easier for Dawne when she started to coordinate the rest of the crew to move out of the Yellow House.  First order of business was to go Starbucks and Target for bins.  As Matty and I were leaving Starbucks we heard this conversation.

Father: I can tell you're thinking about something.  You look like you're thinking really hard about something.  What is it?

3 year old girl: Chocolate.

Turns out my room is real life equivalent of Mary Poppin's carpet bag.  I pulled out/packed 10 large bins, 8 smaller bins, 6 boxes, filled a Prius with hanging clothes, 11 bags of goodwill and trash, 2 suitcases and 11 additional baskets of shoes and clothing.  And I'm not completely done.  My parents got this for me to celebrate the birth of Perseverance aka Percy. At one point, I picked up the bottle and I wondered if I drank it, my room would get packed up faster.

Here's how I *enjoy* my coffee on the weekends.  Casper (the Aussie) is sitting on my other shoulder but it was too awkward to get a good shot.

Did I mention how much Percy loves sleepovers?  This is how he wakes up his mama - I know it's hard to tell, but I promise there are two dogs here.

I hope you had a great week! 

Another Wine Stack, Please.

Update from the week of 8/5 – 8/11

Here’s something that no one will be saying to me today:

A bunch of the summer interns departed, leaving some empty spaces.  Particularly the space where Jati used play video games while Matty worked away at a desk in the same room.  Often, Ranen would join Jati in the playing of games, so after his departure, Matty discussed creating a "Jati Doll" to take his place.  Ranen laughed at the whole idea, but almost screamed in fear, when he walked past the room the next day and saw the Jati Doll.

Matty: The bubble wrap was just sitting there, he had left one of his shirts, I HAD ALL THE MATERIALS!

Showing once again, you can leave the compound, but you'll never leave our hearts.

In an attempt to be healthier, I've been going to Metro Market a lot of lunch.  I picked up this little thing of Spanish Valencian Almonds for a good snack between meals. The first three were DELICIOUS.  I was on my 4th almond, when I tasted a "bad" almond.  Indescribably, awful tasting almond.  Ryan, my co-worker, and purchased a simiiar container of almonds - only his were covered in sugar.  I offered him some of mine and he immediately said, "Yeah, I don't want any of your Russian Roulette Almonds."

On Wednesday, Dawne gave Diana's nephew a swimming lesson.  She announced to everyone that she would be teaching someone to swim for an hour.  5 minutes into the lesson, someone let all the dogs out of the yellow house.  Dawne got out of the pool and put them into the little blue house.  Matty walked by the blue house and saw that inconceivably, Percy had managed his way onto the counter in the kitchen, so he picked him up and let the dogs out of the house.  Dawne then got out of the pool and brought them up to the yellow house.  Ten minutes later, thinking that Casper was finally learning how to ask to be let out, Uncle Ray let all the dogs outside.  In every instance, the dogs ran straight into the pool and started to swim - because nothing is more distracting and intimidating to a 10 year old learning how to swim than a bunch of puppies lapping him. 

On Wednesday evening, we all went to Marymoor to see Ten Things I Hate about You.  Becky joined us, with a huge tub of popcorn AND wine within the most awesome packaging of our time.   Introducing the Wine Stack - containing 4 glasses of wine, each with its one foil seal, stacked in a way that you can just separate, peel, and enjoy your very own glass of wine on the go!

Someone came over to my desk the other day while I was looking at Facebook and I immediately said, "Could you hold on, I need to finish this." 

This same gentleman had time to make this video after our company picnic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSnVZajKfQg&feature=youtu.be

Oh right, we went had the company picnic on Friday.  I knew that we could bring dogs, but was worried that if I brought the shaggy, ear flopping Percy into the public that someone might call Animal Protective Services.  So, I brought him into PetCo - but I brought Nala with me in case they had time for a twofer.  They sadly didn't, so I brought Nala home.  When I tried to pick Percy up, Casper and Nala INSISTED that they join me - apparently they weren't happy about being left at home while Percy got to go on a trip.  They were ELATED to just drive to and from the store.  Weirdos. 

It was also Percy’s 10 month birthday – how cute is this guy?

I received an awesome video from my nieces.  They made this music video for their friends were in England for two weeks.  Seems appropriate. 

The weekend was spent at the dog park, meeting folks for meals, watching the rest of my family prepare for Gen Con and generally trying to recover from a pretty hectic couple of weeks.  Kristy Kreme, my friend from college, and her mom were in town on Saturday.  They got to meet Percy, and I took them to a place I had never been to in Renton.  As we were walking around, we bump into the single person that I know who lives in Renton: Rollie.  He and his wife admitted that we had interrupted them as they were mid stalk/follow of a suspicious character.  Sorry if you caused you to lose the scent guys!

OH!  And Nater made the dean's list!  That's exciting! Oh! And I forgot to tell you:  At the roast last week, Neville's college buddy mocked Neville's unusual love of glow sticks.  Then, I kid you not, two hours later, Neville broke out two boxes of glow sticks.  The only thing that could have topped that was some laser tag guns.  Maybe at the 50th anniversary.

Janeville

I am DETERMINED to get back on schedule, but seem to always be behind.  Last week, someone was telling me that when they come back from vacation, they delete everything from their inbox; if something was really important, the person will send a follow up email.  I'm surprised that I didn't break out in hives after hearing this story. 

Here is the update from the week of 7/29. 

I watched Orange is the New Black with Matty while I sewed/glued together some additions to my bridesmaid dress.  Some days we went to the park, ooh, I definitely think of those park visits included Diana, but overall, pretty run o' the mill until Friday. 

On Friday, I wrote my Monday email, a week behind again, at the airport on my way to San Francisco.  Did I tell you that I discovered Ginger Gum? So much better than the pills, and no water required!  (Ever since I turned 30, I've been motion sick.  And ever since I told my cousin Mary this, I've been taking Ginger pills - which totally work, but sometimes they burn my throat - which is weird.)  I arrived to San Fran only around 2 hours late - and went immediately to meet Janette at the hotel. 

Can I tell you how much I adore this girl?  A lot.  (Although, maybe I've already told you this because a quick search of my blog says that Janette and adore have come up on numerous occasions.  The best part of the weekend was that, even though it was her wedding weekend, and there were so many people around to celebrate - I actually got to spend copious amounts of quality time with her. 

When I arrived, we grabbed some lunch, did a couple of small items on her to-do list.  Her sister, Suzanne had gone shopping that day so we went over to look at the dress she bought.  This is one of my favorite things about Janette - we got there, and Suzanne had bought a purple flowery dress that looked amazing on her.  Janette's response?  You should just wear that tomorrow.  (We were all wearing different bright - but solid - colored dresses.  Suzanne's color was green.) 

Before I arrived, Janette asked me to make sure that I make sure she left the after rehearsal dinner drinks at 10PM.  We had a lovely dinner, and cocktails and conversation were lovely, and then before anyone knew it, it was ten o'clock, and I was telling the fun loving, socialite that she had to leave her party.  I agreed to a 30 minute extension in which I walked around, warning everyone that she was about to leave and they should hurry up and say hi to her before she did.  We got back by 11, not too shabby if you ask me.   Getting to stay with Janette was an amazing gift.  It was like having a sleepover, only we were at the Marriott - but her parents were still in the room next door. 

Me: So, tomorrow, should I just being my suitcase to the front desk or bring it to the ceremony so I'll have it when I go back to your apartment?

Janette: Or you could just stay here on the couch.

Me: Yeah, it's your wedding night Janette.

Janette: I'm sure lots of people will be crashing here.

Me: I'm positive that they won't be. 

I didn't see Janette turn into Bridezilla, but if ever she was going to, it would have happened when we went down for breakfast and the guy guarding the door tried to tell her they already had their quota of her family that day.  I would have stomped my foot and whined "But I'm the BRIDE."  Fortunately, we reversed his position immediately and let us in. 

After breakfast, folks started showing up to do our hair and makeup - so naturally that was when Janette and I decided that we should take turns taking showers.  The jams were phenomenal - and not because on several occasions could be heard singing every word of a Salt n Pepa / TLC / Destiny's Child song that I hadn't heard in 15 years.  I don't think anyone reading this will be surprised to hear this information. 

Janette: How was Rachel's wedding?

Me: Great - and I NAILED the reading.

Janette: Speaking of which, can you read something at my wedding? 

Bridesmaid: How nervous are you?

Janette: I'm feeling good.

Bridesmaid: I don't know about you, but when I'm nervous, I pee a little.  Not a lot, just two drips.

Ten minutes before the wedding.

Bridesmaid: How you feeling now?

Janette: Two drips. 

The ceremony was beautiful, and windy, and funny and sweet and totally perfect.   Afterwards, at the reception, the entire bridal party walked in with Aviators, then groomsmen in fro wigs, all dancing in to stayin' alive to form a true Soul Train.  It was epic. 

Janette and Neville, instead of asking people to toast them, asked to be roasted and roasted they were.   Here are some of my favorite stories.

Roommate:  Congratulations, Neville, on reaching your goal weight of 115.  It must have been a real challenge to gain those last 5 pounds.

Neville's Dad told us about taking Neville to the opera at age 4.  He did really well through most of the performance until the very end when a dead body is dragged across the stage.  This is when our boy Neville started laughing hysterically as his not-so-proud papa sunk as far down in his seat as possible.  It was the last time Neville was invited to the opera with his father. 

College Roommates:  We went to school with Janette at the greatest school in Cambridge the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.  All the guys from the other school in Cambridge, always dreamed of getting with an MIT girl.  Well, today, one Harvard man finally got his dream.  Congrats Neville!

You know when you go to college and you're only allowed to bring a couple of choice items?  Well I was curious to see what was essential to my future friends.  That's when I saw Janette unpack her chemistry set and her laser tag guns.  For those of you who don't know, laser tag is one step lower in the cool factor than dungeons and dragons.  [Tiffany's note:  I LOVED THAT LASER TAG SET!!] 

Janette also really got into Yoga in college.  So much so that in one class she fell asleep.  We were all worried that she wouldn't wake up before the class ended, but just before the end, she farted herself awake. 

And that's how you roast a bride at a wedding.  After the roasts, Janette and Neville stood up to thank people.

Neville: I have some logistical information for you.   Next, dessert will be served [Tiffany's note: no cake, just donuts.] Followed by dancing and there is a photo booth area over in the corner.  There will be two shuttles one is at 9:30 [looking at watch] which is in 5 minutes so you better leave now.  Or else there will be another one at 11. 

I loved this whole concept of keeping guests to the end by locating the wedding on an island and controlling the transportation on and off of that island.  LOVED it.  We all went out to the after party at a bar that told us to congregate upstairs, with no bartender and we were not allowed to put the lights on.  It was very intimate.  I started to get a little concerned that I forgot to get the keys to their apartment from Neville and Janette.  When they arrived, Janette handed me the keys and said, you have the address right?  Just sleep wherever.  Now, I have never been to this new apartment, so imagine how thrilled I was when Neville said described what the outside of their home looked like, and described the inside so that I could find where I needed to in the dark, and had put out new sheets & towels for me.   And this, is how I ended up waking up in the newlyweds’ bed the night of their wedding.  (They were in the hotel across town of course.)

On Sunday, I woke up after 4 hours of sleep, and immediately texted Erika telling her my whereabouts and status.  We coordinated and before I knew it, was taking my suitcase on the BART to visit Erika Jane.  That was when I broke the wheel off of my ten year old target suitcase and had to purchase a new one.  I got to enjoy and AMAZING breakfast with an amazing girl.  It was all over far too quickly, and I was headed back to the Mission to charge my phone and get a lift to the airport from Jan-e-tte.

Overall, a super fun weekend! 

Randers

Update for the week of 7/22 – 7/28 J

My big accomplishment last week was to decide on a new dog food for the pups.  It was a long and arduous process of struggling to find something that they would like.  Apparently, we had been feeding the dogs the equivalent of McDonalds, so naturally, when faced by healthy food, they rejected the very thought of it.  Just another way that my dog is exactly like me.  The other delightful part of this adventure was having the same argument with my Uncle a minimum of 10 times.  It went a little like this:

Me: I don’t want to feed the dogs Kirkland brand food.

Uncle Ray: Why not?

Me: Because I don’t have a Costco card, and I want to be able to buy the food we choose.

Uncle Ray: Just get a Costco Card.

Me: I’m not getting a Costco Card for the sole purpose of getting dog food when there are a thousand other brands of dog food available. 

Uncle Ray: One of us will buy it then.

Me: You live in Puerto Rico, Dawne’s moving to California, and I want to be able to buy food for my dog.

Uncle Ray: But they like the food.

Me: They like the other food just as well.

Uncle Ray: But it costs more.

And ultimately all “discussions” ended with me yelling

Me: I LOVE WASTING MONEY! I WANT TO WASTE THAT MONEY AT ANY STORE OTHER THAN COSTCO!  I’M NOT FEEDING MY DOG KIRKLAND BRAND DOG FOOD!!

Rinse and Repeat.  How was your week?

On Friday, we had a team event.  We split the team into two different teams to choose the activity.  I was not on the team that got to decide last week – but I did advocate for the event of my choice until we were suddenly buying tickets to the Ferris Wheel.  It was a gorgeous day so when we got up into the Great Wheel it was no surprise to hear my co-worker Ryan say, “This is the sh*t Instagram was made for.” 

We followed it up with some ice cream and a trip to Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe (I had never been before.  My experience was of a store that had a lot of crazy things in it, smelled kind of weird and half way through I started feeling a little claustrophobic and had to make an exit.  Over all though, the day was amazing! I left the group at 4:30 to go to Dr. Rach’s church for the rehearsal.

When I was handed the reading, I noticed that one of the lines said, “to bed the Lord.”  I’m not an expert on the Bible, and obviously it’s good to be close with to God, but I thought I might ask the priest to make sure that it wasn’t supposed to be, “to BEG the Lord.”  Turns out, that was more appropriate.  J

The rehearsal dinner was lovely, and I enjoyed meeting a lot of Dr. Rach’s family.  Gin, as always was hilarious.   She has an amazing talent of always knowing when food is available, which is a really awesome person to have around. 

Rach’s Cousin: Hi, I’m Mike.

Me: Hi! Wait-a-minute.  Do you mean Mikey?  No-No’s favorite grandchild?

Mikey: Um, oh, yeah.  That might be me. 

Anders also had a nickname growing up.  All of his family calls him Andy, which almost makes me feel pretentious calling him Anders, but I can’t blame him.  Anders is a pretty awesome name.  When I got home from the Rehearsal Dinner, I had just enough time to watch another episode of “Orange is the New Black” with Matty.  It’s like a train wreck that I can’t look away from.  I told Maureen that I better not ever get into trouble because I don’t think I’d survive prison.  At first she agreed, but then she said, “Nah, I think you’d be fine actually.  I can imagine you in prison saying to everyone, “Let’s play this game or do this activity!” followed by, “Come on! What else are you going to!?” until everyone was having fun.”  I better start thinking of activities now.  :P

Got up early on Saturday to drive over to Dr. Rach’s for hair and makeup time with mimosa supplies in hand.  I am always so surprised at how good I can look when I have to two professionals to work on the transformation.  I had been answering all “How do you know Rachel?” questions with, “We lived together when she moved out here.”  Dr. Rach was more direct in saying, she’s related to my ex-boyfriend.  J That’s only kind of true. 

Dr. Rach made for a beautiful bride and Dr. and Dr. looked so incredibly happy!  The reception was super fun and I managed to get home in time to watch more OITNB and get to bed at a reasonable time.  (Oh! I tried 5 hour energy for the first time.  I didn’t feel a thing.  What does that say about me exactly?)

And on Sunday, I got to play with baby Juniper, Jen’s kid.  I can’t remember the last time I got to hang out with just one kid.  She was perfect, and bonus, when she took a nap, so did I.  J 

I hope you all had a great week and I’ll talk to you real soon!