Monday, August 11, 2014

Mo and Laina’s Big Fat Interracial Wedding!


Finally, update for 7/28 - 8/3


I'm smiling just thinking about writing to you about this week. :)  Okay, we started out the week having dinner at Red Robin.  Lucas was ruminating about how he wanted to go skateboarding with his cousin Ashley, and then dreaming about all the awesome skateboarding he'll be doing in California.

Uncle Ray: You won't have time for that when you're spending all of your time getting straight A's.
Lucas: That's what I was thinking.
Me: Is that what you were thinking?
Lucas: No, but I'm saying that that is what I'm thinking so we don't have to talk about it.

The following day, Lucas was working really hard on getting all of his Thank You's done because Dawne said she wasn't sending a gift to his friend until he finished them.  He thought he was done, but found out that a friend of a friend had given all of the boys gifts.  Lucas was struggling with the note because he didn't know this person and t each of his letters were so personal.  He finally finished when his mother said, "his name is Dan not Dave." Unable to deal with it, Lucas said he would finish it later.

Dawne: Fine, I won't send your friend a gift until later, plus 2 months.
Lucas: Okay! You think he cares when he gets it? And do you really think he'd EVER write a thank you?
Me: You could just finish the last one.
Lucas: I would be finished if only that guy's name was Dave!

None the less, I got my letter, which Lucas asked me to read out loud.  When I got to the misspelled "career" I lol'd and asked Lucas if he did that on purpose.  When he said no, I demanded a pen so I could edit; he brought one over immediately.  :)




So much happened on Wednesday.  Dawne had a world renowned dog trainer come to the house to help train Casper.  Upon ringing the bell, Dawne held back Casper and the two littles, before opening the door.  Percy escaped her embargo and immediately bit the guy’s ankle.  Super.  The trainer proceeded to point out all the things that we were doing wrong like leaving to the food out (which we don't always do, but we did on Wednesday.)  He sits down, and Percy hopped up on beside him.  The trainer then tells Dawne that dogs should NEVER be allowed on the couch or bed so that you can always show dominance.   The doorbell rang and Casper literally leaped over the couch and the other two scrambled for the door to bark.  Once everyone was settled back on the couch, the guy continued to talk about how ill trained the dogs were, which Dawne wasn't going to argue because that's kind of why she was paying the guy.  And that's when Percy jumped up on the top of the couch and peed on the trainers shoulder.  He ran off, and they guy pointed at Nala blaming her.  Dawne, embarrassed as all get out, explained that it was actually Percy.  Man, he has NEVER done that before, ever.  Think maybe, just maybe Percy was trying to communicate how he felt about the trainer's comments?

Family night happened again, this time with pool action.  When I got out of the pool I had received this awesome note from my brother Sean.  It would be awesome if you could support him!


Selfish.  Shallow.  Ignorant.

​Ashamed. 

​​MOVED.  Inspired.  Fortunate.  Eager.

Last year my newest partners, Liam O’Neil and James Beale asked me join them in shaving my head to help bring greater attention and actually help children who were fighting cancer.  My answer was an immediate ‘No’. I said to myself (and maybe even out loud) “I would look horrible bald”.  And then I joined them at the actual shaving event, and that is when the fore mentioned emotions hit me. I met the parents.  I saw the videos of the kids.  I witnessed their bravery.  And I felt selfish, shallow and blatantly ignorant.  As I fought back tears, I was ashamed of myself.  And then I decided that I would not experience these emotions in 2014.  I have been so fortunate with respect to my own children’s health and I am eager to help others.

This year’s “Shave’ will be held on the floor of the NYSE, which truly is a very special place to me.  As many of you know, I will always consider the NYSE home, and there is no more appropriate place for me to share this experience.  I hope that you, and your friends, will join me and the rest of my friends in working toward a cure for the children.  This promises to be a very special night.


I’m really excited to be going to Trivia night at Norm’s (the bar and restaurant that allows dogs.)  Dawne and Matty went on Thursday, and even though we did not do well as far as trivia goes, it was still super fun.  At one point, the guy next to us slid over to whisper to us. 

Guy: We’re European. The strait between Portugal and Spain is the Iberian Strait.
Matty: He clearly knew that they didn't teach that to us in the US.




I left work early on Friday for the wedding rehearsal for Mo and Laina.  The walk through went very well, and the party afterwards was super fun.  They had it on the Virginia which was docked by the MOHAI.  What was really nice about Mo and Laina’s wedding events was that I got to meet so many of Laina’s friends – many of which I had heard so much about that before I was even introduced I was able to ask them real questions about their lives as if we had known each other for years.  Everyone was fun, and genuine which made for an incredibly great weekend for all involved. 




I was talking to this one group of guys about officiating the wedding (they immediately started calling me “The Vicar.”) When this guy Eric asks me a question. I didn’t hear him, so I said, “What?” After he repeated the question for the second time, I just stood there awkward and silent, looking back and forth between the three gentlemen, hoping that one of them would move the conversation along.  When they didn’t, I made up some reason to depart.  When I saw this guy the following day, I apologized for the horribly awkward moment, and all three of the guys had no recollection that it had happened at all.  Turns out that Eric is always a little weird, and silence often occurs around him.  Super!

I walked into a conversation about having babies, and whether or not one should have one.  I said that sometimes they aren’t planned, before I thought about the fact that I was talking to two gay men.  I tried to fix my faux pas by saying that sometimes you just see cute kid and have to steal them.  This lead to a greater discussion of stealing street urchins and the return policy if you didn’t like them.  We’re not good people. 

I arrived at Laina’s around noon and amazingly, like ten people got their hair and makeup done in under three hours. 

Laina: First person to see the shuttles pull up, let me know.  Okay, Alex, you just tell me. 
(This is only funny because Alex is legally blind. And because we thought it was funny, I’m going to refer back to, “We’re not good people.”)

The guys arrived and Chad walked up to Sasha getting her make up done and said, “I can help with that.”

After the bridal party left for pictures, Shana’s parents and I straightened up a bit before heading to the bar (because why not, right?)  The ceremony went well, (but then again I was the “vicar,” so of course I would say that.)  I thought the highlights were:

Welcome to Mo and Laina’s big fat interracial wedding!

(a stolen quote from friends)
It is a love based on giving, and receiving, as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give, and have, is shared, and received.  And through this having, and giving, and sharing, and receiving, we too can share, and love, and have, and receive.

(Mo whispered to me here, “We got through it [without laughing]” and that’s when I went into the second paragraph.)

When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I cannot help but envy the lifetime ahead of having, and loving, and giving, and receiving.

And when Dr. Rach did a dramatic reading “from the immortal words of Henry Samuel” AKA Seal’s Kiss from a Rose.  Brill.

Jen’s daughter Lily also did an amazing job as the “Bling Bearer” (official title in the program.)




I was super excited about my table, which unofficially was the “Doctor Table” because there were 5 doctors in attendance.
Brett (who has a doctorate in the music field): We could totally save someone’s life if there was an emergency! I can heal their souls with the song in my heart!




Brett: You left your coach purse on the candle and I saved it.
Maybe I was a little tipsy at this point, b/c I giggled a lot at this.




Alex: My suit is very boxy. One might say it leaves everything to the imagination.
The sleeves stopped half way down his forearm and they were puffy, like a pirate.  He kept trying to fold them under his arms to get some shape.  This was increasingly humorous when his bf kept showing off how good he looked in his tailored attire.  And to top it all off, hours later while we were dancing…
Dr. Rach: I think Alex just split his pants.
Me: Imma go check it out. 




And he had.  When he came back wearing shorts and a t-shirt, he also did a standing back flip on the dance floor.  Ah, the powers of wearing clothing that fit!




The toasts were amazing.  Chad started telling some stories that would have totally embarrassed Laina, but to her great relief, didn’t give us any details.  My favorite line was, “I could describe the mole that Laina has [gesturing to his hind quarters] just kidding.  Contrary to popular belief, Laina and I have never dated.  In fact if you ask Laina she’ll say, “Ew. No. Chad is gross.”




And then Mo’s mom gave this amazingly lovely speech.  She told us about how hard it was for her when she thought Mo was at one stage, but then he would say or do something and he’d actually be in another stage that she wasn’t ready for.  She call these times “jumps.”  Like when his first trip on public transportation.  Mo got on the bus, to go ten blocks to school, and his mom jumped in a cab and said, “FOLLOW THAT BUS!” Or when he was 11 and admitted that he was in love with his friend’s 16 year old sister.  His mother turned to Laina and said, “I guess he was always into older women.” One of the harder jumps was when he moved away and joined the service.  But this jump into marriage, the biggest jump that he has made yet, she wasn’t worried.  His mom said, she was not only worried, but over joyed because he was making this jump with Laina by his side.  So sweet!

Brett: What kind of cake is it?
Me: No one has told me anything, but I would bet you that one layer is coconut peanut butter. 




First time in the photo booth.  Nailed it. 







A great time had by all!



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