Update 7/6 - 7/12
I am clearly wicked behind, and that means the accuracy
of these emails might decrease significantly - as will the coherence. You love me anyway right? The beginning of my
week was pretty typical and boring, but I did laugh at least 4 times.
I was watching 8 Second Ride with Dawne. Before the movie began we had been talking
about the importance of supporting your partners dreams.
Dawne: If Jordan wanted to ride a bull, I would totally
support him.
Me: Oh really? You'd just let him get up on that bull,
when you won't even let any of us participate in paint ball?
Dawne: If he could I would.
My co-worker Ryan at lunch: I just feel like taking a nap
and doing a jig-saw puzzle. I can't wait to retire because that's all I'll do.
Me: My kids are going to be so undisciplined.
Kelly: They'll be funny though.
I had lunch with Christy and her baby Amelia. She was telling me that when she had her
first child 8 years ago, he was absolutely perfect and easy that she thought,
"Man, I am a really great mom!" And now that she has Amelia who
apparently cries often, hates being in the car, and is well, over all, more
vocal, she was questioning her original thought. Then, we spent a whole hour at Starbuck in
which I held Amelia and she didn't cry so I helpfully called her a liar.
On Thursday, I flew to NY. My flight was delayed 4 hours, so that's not
awesome, but at least I arrived! I
mostly took a nap and then headed down to Stacey's to begin a night of T-Swift
amazing with my nieces. They had just
gotten back from Ocean City, so they had a bunch of fun stories to entertain me
as we drove down to the stadium.
Apparently, Morgan and Jackie almost died twice. First they saw a shark while they were
jet-skiing. And then they took the
paddle boards out and because of the current, it took 40 minutes to get
back. When they got unto the sand bar,
they were forced to step on all of these crabs.
As they were just about to get off the sand bar, Morgan "decided to
be a hero" and in her attempt to help Jackie, she lost her paddle and had
to go back for it. Jackie ignored the
motto, "No man left behind" and took up the less popular, "Every
man for himself" and didn't look back.
Me: Where were you during all of this?
Stacey: At the house taking pictures - I have a really
good lens.
Jackie: I can't WAIT to tailgate, I love a good tailgate!
Morgan: When have you ever tailgated?
Jackie: Penn State game, and it was awesome.
We arrived at the stadium for our tailgate, and also for
a lot of people watching. There were so
many costumes, including someone wearing an Ostrich costume? The girls, who would never have worn a
costume, told Stacey that they had to make it up to them for not getting them
concert worthy costumes. The penalty?
Ice cream.
Carla: Ladies, this is very important. Never let your
butt cheeks show.
Carla: Oh yeah.
Stacey dresses teacher chic.
When we got into the stadium all of the men’s rooms had been
converted into women’s rooms. While we
were in line for the bathroom:
Jackie: I’m so excited!
Me: For the concert?
Bailey: Yeah, but also to see inside a men’s room!
Jackie: I’m going to use the urinal.
Taylor was telling us about how much easier it would be
if life and emotions were less complicated.
To which I turned to Stacey and said, “Yeah but then there would be no
Taylor.”
Carla: Taylor and I are Internet friends. We're friends
on Instagram.
And then Taylor proceeded to tell us all about the many
different types of friendship. Like her
internet friends. (Carla: I told you!)
She told us that her definition of friendship included someone who likes
her and wants to spend time with her.
So, basically, she was hanging out with 60k of her friends. She also talked about how everyone has bad
days, and everyone gets sad. And the
next time she got sad, she was going to think about this night with her 60k
friends and she hopes that when we get said we think of this same night. I looked over at Morgan and she said, “That
is so sweet! I think I’m going to cry!”
Now that Taylor lives in NY we had the pleasure of her
inviting all of her NY friends. At one
point, Heidi Klum walked down the stage and Morgan and Jackie both looked over
at me and said, who is Heidi Klum? And
then Taylor invited the US Soccer team on stage!
Me: I didn't know that song.
Morgan: I personally hate it.
Jackie: If it's personal keep it to yourself, Morgan.
Andy Grammer’s “Honey I'm good” came on the radio and
Stacey said, “This is Morgan's jam.”
Carla: Ugh that smell.
Me: It's Jersey.
In reference to parking so you could beat the traffic.
Me: You did a great job!
Stacey: Well, in theory.
Me: No seriously.
Way better than those suckers.
Jackie: I'd be scared if I met the US soccer team in an
ally except for Hope Solo. I'd just take a picture with her. She's an Amazon.
This is when Bailey started reading her wiki:
Solo is married to former American football player
Jerramy Stevens.[98] They have been together since mid-August 2012 when Solo
returned from the Olympics. On November 12, 2012, Stevens was arrested on
investigation of assault following an altercation that left Solo injured.[99]
The following day, Stevens was released after a judge determined there was not
enough evidence to hold him.[100] The
pair were wed the next day, November 13, 2012.[101][102]
The next day, JULIE AND NICK CAME TO VISIT!! They had just barely got out of the car when
Jackie called to ask if we wanted to go on the boat. I think Julie’s daughter, Lila would have rather
have gone to the playground, but them’s the breaks.
When we got on the boat, Jackie and Morgan were putting
lemon juice in their hair.
Me: What did you learn from Taylor Swift last night?
Morgan: To define your own beauty.
Jackie: With Lemon juice.
Me: Fair enough.
Pass it over.
I told Nick and Julie that my mom had driven an hour to
get my favorite Krakas ham.
Nick: I like that ham but not to drive an hour for it.
Julie: Yeah, you drove 3 hours.
When we got to Sean & Stacey’s for Morgan’s birthday,
the song “Girl Crush” was playing.
Carla: This is our song!
Me: What?
Carla: It's been so long.
Me: Oh! Okay. I was gonna say - we need a new song.
Julie: Sometimes when Lila gets upset she starts sobbing
and her whole face is covered in snot and saliva. She's disgusting. And you wonder why I don't
want a second one.
(She was totally kidding – Lila is all sorts of adorable
and people can’t help but fall in love with her when they meet her. Then again, I’ve never seen her covered in
snot.)
Jackie and Bailey were playing soccer when suddenly, and without
warning, Bails walked away.
Jackie: I think we're done playing?
Nick: I went to doctor after I graduated collage and the
doctor asked me about my family history.
I told him how my family has a history of heart disease so the doctor
told me I was going to have to get blood drawn.
That’s when I told him, “Oh, wait.
I’m adopted.”
Maureen and Kyle picked up Kevin from one camp and drove
him down to DC for a leadership program.
It took less than ten minutes before he found a group of friends and said
good-bye to Mo. Given that she clearly
wasn’t needed, she drove back to NY.
When they got to Sean’s, Kyle ran his fingers through his hair until it
was literally sticking straight out from his head on all sides.
Maureen: Fix your hair.
Kyle: It is fixed. I'm Einstein.
Maureen was telling us a story about the boys that
happened the week before.
Mo: Kyle is a lot like how Tiffany used to be, emotional
and a crier.
Me: Used to be? Come on now.
Mo: Anyway, I could tell he really wanted some company
when he said to his brothers, “Can you come in the pool and flip me? I won't
cry I promise.”
Doreen was telling us about how hard it is to find
private time as a mother. Back when she
was staying with her parents, she went to take a shower and three of her kids
started pounding on the door. She tried
to tell them that there was 5 other adults in the house, but apparently none of
them were, “Mom.” I feel bad about laughing as hard as I did at this story. I hope it doesn’t haunt me later.
Morgan opened her presents, and here us some running
commentary I found amusing.
Cracker Jacks! I only get to have these on Fourth of
July!
A Bug Bracelet! This is awesome it lasts a whole week! I
got bit five times in Maryland and she told me to spit on it. (It’s true, I did
tell her to spit on it – it works!)
Jacks! I know this from full house!
We went for a hike the following day. Well, most of us went on a hike, Lila got sit
on Nick’s shoulders. He was telling us
that Julie’s parents often bribe them to go to church by offering to buy them
brunch afterwards and it works every time.
Also, Lila found out that there are quite a number of businesses in the
Harrisburg area that offer dum dum lolli-pops, and for a while Nick was
bringing her on unnecessary errands just so that she could get a dum dum. One such time, Lila dropped her dum dum and
started crying inconsolably. Ever since,
Nick carries a bag of dum dums at all time.
Nick: We will never again shed a tear over a pop again.
We finally did take Lila to the playground, which I think
might have made her happy. On our way
there, I asked Kyle for something and he said he couldn’t because his “hands
are slippery from the cheese its.” Don’t
you just hat when that happens?
Before I knew it, it was time for my flight back. When I got to JFK, I discovered a super
wonderful surprise. Jet Blue opened an
outdoor patio bar that is totally pet friendly.
And just like that, I forgave them for the 3 hour delay.
Finally, I noticed that there was a huge jump in readers
from Israel from my last post - please please please if you're reading again
this week, tell me what caught your eye.
I'm dying to know!
One down, 7 more to go.
Easy right? J
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