Update 1/18 - 1/26
I haven't put my pictures together yet, so in an effort to
be efficient, here's a link to the top posts, and then I'll follow up with more
later. :)
or a more comprehensive compilation: https://www.dropbox.com/sc/a05qjq4fmd6smig/AABfwZPB7Hx1aBlWGZhVBPCza
Zach (looking at
a carved elephant trinket): Something like this takes so much work and it's
spent on something worthless.
A couple getting photographed with the Taj behind them.
Kelly: Shana
thinks that is an engagement shoot.
Me: or the first
look. Like ever.
Zach: I feel
like the Taj Mahal is like if charlie chapman was a building
Shana: what?!
Tom: Bad luck
for choosing the wrong gender.
Tom, Kelly, Zach and I went to the Taj at sunrise. We were driven by a guy who, during the
course of the day had 5 different modes of transportation, but was always
wearing a beanie that simply had "BOYS" written on it.
Me: Why don't
you go Jimmy those doors open
Zach: alright!
That sounds like a great way to get kicked out of the country, but not before a
sound beating.
Kelly: that lady
was not happy about you disrespecting this place
Zach: sure, but
I didn't get kicked out of the country so... Success!
After being followed around by a photographer at the Taj
Tom: that was
Zach's muse or rather Zach was his muse Zach; they are afraid of the police bc
the police will beat the shit out of you.
Tom: oh look you
can buy a book or a spider.
(after seeing a large display case that only had one book
and one large spider in it.)
Zach: so I
followed the path up and there was a dark corridor with just on guy sitting on
a stool with an AK47 and, instead of startling him, I ran out of there so fast.
groaning after
posing on our knees
Ebony: You
should come work out with me.
Ebony's friend: Negative
Zach: what is he
saying?
Guy: if you
aren't a licensed photographer I won't just prosecute you I'll beat the shit
out of you.
After posing
with some more strangers
Me: I don't
understand it.
Zach: what's not
to understand? We're a freak show.
People were constantly asking us to take pictures with them
- but none more than the one and only Shana, whose tattoos and brightly colored
hair was a spectacle. I thought it was
simply because everything was so bright, but after talking to one guy, I realized
the cost of getting so many tattoos was also a sign of her immense wealth. The paparazzi was in full force.
Zach rode a
camel, as in jumped on a camel mid carriage ride, but I couldn't take a picture
because there was a dead body being carried through the street. I'm not
complaining, I'm just stating facts.
At one point, Zach left his phone in a car. I think he would have preferred to lose his
wallet.
Kelly: Did Zach
get his phone back?
Tom: yeah "Boys"
gave it to him.
Zach and I went
to Agra fort alone for a late night adventure.
There was a "show" scheduled, but I know we showed up for the
wrong time, but because we were there, I think they switched to English. This was great for us, but ended up causing
the other 15 people to leave before the end.
Fellow traveler:
You speak English really well. Did you go to an America school?
Young man: No,
we have schools in India.
While we were Rathambore, I ended up getting really sick
with a fever, so that day I can't say I was in the best mood. But we did go on Safari. I really wanted to see a Sloth because I
thought that was me keeping my expectations low. Only, it turns out they don't have sloths,
they have sloth bears that are harder to find than tigers.
Traveler 1: Deer!
deer!
Traveler 2: I
have those in my backyard.
After looking at a box on the jeep that only had a symbol
on it.
Zach: Either
Finland or first aid can be found in there.
Kelly: Tom
locked me in the courtyard. He said it happened on its own but I still had to
climb the wall.
Russian
Traveler: Ten percent loss of tourists is normal on every trip.
While visiting a local village:
Guide: What do
you think this is?
Traveler: Condoms?
Shana: I didn't
say it!
Ram (originally
from India): People don't use condoms here!
One family in the village invited us into their home, and
made us Chai tea and biscuits.
Shana &
Vance danced with one of the older gentlemen
Shana: everyone
has that uncle and its him!
Ebony: I think
it would be rude to pay for the rest of the biscuits.
Ebony's friend: But
if you over pay that's just consumerism.
Ebony's friend:
I thought mulberry was a type of hand bag.
Ebony: When I
got checked by TSA I counted every single one of my Capri suns to make sure
they were all there.
Me (about the
people we visited): they seem so happy
Ebony: you would
be too if you were home on a Friday.
At one of the
stops on the trip:
Ebony: I got a mars bar because life is hard and then you
die
Me: And also you wanted a Mars bar.
Ebony: I took my
kids to Disney, and it's really hot in July. I didn't care though, I made them
keep walking around the park all day now when I ask, You guys want to go to
Disney? They reply:
Hells no!
At lunch:
Russian
Traveler: I've got good story about soup. This guy who had put his dad in a nursing
home, decided he wanted to do something special for his lonely dad on his 90th
birthday. He called an escort service and said, "I want you to give my dad
SUPER SEX!" the clerk replied, "I have just the woman." So right
after lunch his dad was relaxing in his room watching Jeopardy, when this
beautiful woman walked in his room and said, "I'm here to give you super
sex" the old man said, "I'll take the soup."
Overheard on the
bus by a couple
Husband: Our
problem is we have too much family
Wife: We don't
have too much family
Husband: Even
one person is too much
Wife: We are
blessed
There is no
other way to say this, some people in our group are remedial.
We get to this
palace with these historically significant metal canisters and Shana in the
voice of the count says "two silver pots ha ha ha"
Cricket
Kelly: I'm
excited to see someone else break a bone.
Tom: I've never
seen someone break a bone playing cricket.
Me: you've never
seen Rhonda play.
Zach: it's
always interesting on the wrong side of the road
Me: interesting
is a word I wouldn't use.
Tom: I can't
wait to do this again but on a motor bike. You can be on the back of my bike
Kelly: I'll just
meet you at each city in the world spree bus.
Tom: a day and a
half later.
Kelly: I want to
tour the country in one of those water pipe engine trucks
Tom: you don't
need to get anywhere quickly just loudly and inefficiently.
Oh yeah, I should have mentioned. When we stopped at the stair well, we were
also corralled into a water pipe engine truck and paraded around one of the
villages for their amusement, which we totally deserved.
Zach and I were not huge fans of listening to the tour
guide, so instead, we listened to a pod cast called "There's no such thing
as a Fish." It was hilarious. I found out later though, that we might have
laughed at some inappropriate moments, like when Som was explaining the caste
system.
Som: You look like you'd want to eat in a palace.
We went to this "Palace" hotel, and had a fancy
dinner. That's also when we sat next to
Stephen Fry. I did not ask him if he was
going to any good parties, even though I'm sure some of our other travelers
would have if they had been with us.
We also went to
a fancy dinner at the Amber Fort & Palace.
Unfortunately we totally didn't time it right so Tom was concerned about
the cab driver who was supposed to pick us up and wasn't able to enjoy his
meal. He was pretty upset the following
day as well. I found out much later,
actually while we were in the palace at Jaipur, that the reason why he was so
upset was because Kelly told him, "Don't be a Rhonda" our least fav
person on the trip. Rough.
Rhonda:
"I'll tell you to stop when I want to get out and shop for jewelry"
Som: "And
now we'll go out of our way to drop Shana and Vance off"
Tom: Minito (the
driver) is my idol
Me; Seriously?
He hit a cow twice today.
Tom: Just a tap
to get him moving along.
I think I
actually started into the next week, and I didn't really explain at all what we
did in India. So here's my quick summary
for those who like details.
We went from Delhi - Agra- Ranthambore - Jaipur to Bejiing
(which is the next update.)
We went to Gandhi
Smriti, the former residence of Mahatma Gandhi where he spent his last days. Baby
Taj, Humayun's tomb & Jamma Mosque and Agra Fort. We had Hi-Tea at Castle
Kanota, (a location in the film "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel"), Ranthambore
National Park for the safari ride, and also a visit to a local village. The Taj
Mahal, Amber Fort, where we rode an elephant up to the top of the fort. And we saw Hawa Mahal in the pink city. We
rode a rickshaw, a tuk tuk, and elephant, a jeep, a bus, a camel and a crazy
truck bed. We fed cows for luck, we
drank local rum (I think) lots of Indian food, basically had an awesome
time. And I only needed to use me
She-pee once!
More on china
soon!
No comments:
Post a Comment