I hope you are all holding up,
whatever that might look like to you in your world. Hopefully, you’ll find something chuckle worthy
here…
Mo had some excitement in her world
early last week.
Mo: Tell dad he can check out
the rabid skunk in the backyard.
Momela: Does the skunk have the
rabbit or does the rabbit have the skunk?
Frita is working on his “Pandemic
Pantry Challenge” (as I like to call it), to get through everything in the pantry,
no matter the expiration date. We can
only hope he doesn’t end up in the ER at the end of all of this. This week, we had two updates. The first was finishing a hazelnut coffee mate creamer (PS – he doesn’t even like hazelnut coffee mate) which expired in
2010. (reminiscent of the 2014 creamer
story) and later in the week the second update was Mashed Potatoes from ’98!
He also found an old Monday
email that he had printed out. “It’s the
one where you took the kids out, and Kyle fell asleep. Do you know which one I’m talking about?” I asked for a little more info, but I did think it might be time that I let Morgan
have coffee ice cream after 10PM. And
after he read
it out loud to me, it was indeed that time!
I was chatting with Aunt Audrye,
my mother’s eldest sister, who I just adore.
And we were chatting about politics and the pandemic and other cheery
subjects.
Aunt Audrye: These days people talk about everything -
even their sex life! Isn’t anything sacred?
Me: I know! Let’s go back to talking about politics and
religion!
She also told me if I know of any available old men, I
should send them on over. And when we
were saying our good-bye’s she promised to call as soon as she had anything to
report on the sex-life front!
RING RING
Sharon: that is so freaky.
Me: What?
Sharon: I just said your name, but didn't get to finish the statement.
Me: What were you going to say after that?
Sharon: I was just thinking about how you said you
weren’t cooking and how sad that is because it’s one of the great joys of being
home right now.
Me: Sounds like a lot of dishes but I guess it’s nice
that you were thinking about me. I’ll take all the pity I can get.
Speaking of phone calls… if anyone wanted to know what
dating is like these days:
TPat: We can do phone
chat or whats app or…
Date: Is phone chat an app?
Claire introduced her children to the VHS tape this
week. Her daughter got upset because she
was interrupted, and her little brother wanted to use the TV.
Daughter: Wait! I was watching that!
Claire: Girl, let me show you the beauty of the VHS. (And
then showed her that the VHS tape would be in the exact same place if you took
it and played it on a different device.)
Claire has also been struggling
with her own infestations at her house during this pandemic, but hers required
an exterminator. This reminded me of the
story of Mo putting insecticide in the house and then remembering to yell, “Don’t
eat anything on the floor!” and immediately heard Kevin spitting something
out.
Claire: My kid will go under the
table at a restaurant and have food in his mouth and I’m like, “We did not
order that!”
Zach shared this funny video with
us:
And then Dawne responded with: I
love fashion!
Oh, big news! I got my license
in the mail so the alcohol scare is over (and also it’s probably good to have valid
ID for other reasons.) Ryan and TPat sent
me Harry Potter themed Minnie Mouse ears (they took the chance here that my
inner brand manager would hate these, but nope, I love love love the mash up!) Becky
brought over a unicorn mask for me and I spent 30 minutes in the rain talking
to her (best part of that day!) I also cleared out a corner of my house filled
with 3 years of Halo Legendary Crates, and went through some holiday cards,
finding this gem from Kathi and Hendrick.
It was complete with actual pictures with little notes on the back of
each one. I read it all over again and
it did indeed fill me with joy. Definitely a keeper.
That actually leads us nicely
into the "Flashback" portion of this weeks update.
2018
Kevin asked me to be his sponsor for his
Confirmation. Love that kid! And while I don’t remember much about the
party, I did have these two random notes in my files:
Aiden: Kyle gave me some crackers
Mo: I’m so glad to hear that he shares!
I really wish I could remember the context to this one…
What should I do with these towels of blood?
You should save that for Halloween
And when I got back from NY, the
weekend had a fun road-trip to Walla Walla with Becky in store for me! Becky is a huge fan of Stephen Amell from
Arrow, and he co-owns a winery in Walla Walla – and she got VIP tickets for the
opening party. COUNT ME IN. It was a super good time, and honestly, as you
would expect at an open bar wine tasting event that happened two years ago, the
details are fuzzy. Luckily I took notes,
unluckily, I don’t have a ton of back story to help you out…
Barista: Do you want a copy?
Tiffany: Yes. Definitely.
Barista hands Tiffany her
receipt.
Tiffany: Oh, no receipt. I
thought you asked if I wanted a cup, and I thought, "Yes. I definitely
want one of those."
“I don’t know how you do things
in Walla Walla but I like my coffee in a cup, weirdos.”
Best
line ever: I’ve been roofied
You are wearing a lot of my
makeup
Yeah, but I feel like I earned
it.
And in 2019, as I was driving
home, Stella Adorable, my Fiat, announced that there was something wrong with
the engine and went into limp-home mode.
I was very close to the dealer, so I brought her safely there. The same dude was there who tried to man-splain
to me about how headlights work. I told
him the situation and he was like, welp, I can’t help you right now because it
was 5:45 and they close at 6. I was like,
alright then, and went back to my car.
The other dude, got off the phone and ran out to me and said I could
leave the car there and he gave me a loaner.
The following day, I found out there was about $4k dollars in work that
needed to be done. As you all know, I’m
a little bit like Lorelai when it comes to cars, so I immediately looked to see
if I could just get the same one. Only
now, they don’t make that car in a convertible with the same color scheme, and if
you want the same colors, it cost extra for a special edition. I gave it a solid 24 hours to scour cars, and
decide for the first time since I started driving, I might be okay with 4 doors
and for the first time since college, I would not be driving a convertible and
got myself a Jeep Renegade. TBH, I didn’t
love it right away, but now that I have put custom white and blue leather seats,
and put some Penn State license plate frames on her, she’s pretty cool.
I’ll wrap this up with my
favorite haha’s from the week.
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