Sweet and Sarcastic: I Miss Your Face

5/11 – 5/17

Hi Friend!

First, I have to share something from today, b/c it’s hilarious. I got this in the mail, and I’m still giggling:

We had lots of fun birthday’s last week! Frita, Mo, Kyle, Uncle Jack, Debina, Becky to mention a few. 😊

Mo was grocery shopping when she saw a cake covered in sprinkles that contained blue and white frosting, and thought “It’ll be like eating a unicorn!,” and she decided to buy it for herself.

Patrick: What’s the cake for?

Mo: Me

Patrick: You already have a cake.

Mo: There are two of us! If you want two cakes you can have two cakes.

Patrick: You’re having three cakes!

Mo: There are multiple birthdays!

--enter Kevin---

Kevin: What’s the cake for?

Mo: Me

Kevin: You already have a cake.

Mo: There are two of us! If you want two cakes you can have two cakes.

Kevin: You’re having three cakes!

Mo: There are multiple birthdays!

Kyle: Can we have one today then?

Sean had gotten Mo this huge cast iron skillet, and they made steaks, with sides from Ruths Chris’ and then a former student, (now the mom of someone who Mo is tutoring), dropped off a bottle of wine to make the evening perfect. When I called at the end of the evening, Mo told me that for the first time ever, she drank a whole bottle of wine on her own (I wish I could say I’ve only done that once) and then decided to try two different shots from her Nipyata (Piñata filled with booze). When I saw Kyle in the background of the call, I told him he needed to run next door to my parents house and get the emergen-c for his mom because she had school the next day, and I love her.

It’s been two and half months of Teams meetings without incident, so I guess I was due. First, I thought I had muted a meeting with a partner (it was still early before all 15 people joined), so I listened to a voicemail from a cousin asking help joining the video party I was throwing for my Uncle Jack’s 80^th birthday … only to realize I did not mute my mic, just shut the volume off on my speakers. (I didn’t admit it was me so I think I got away with it.) Then, less than 24 hours later, it was a round 6PM and I decided to shut my computer off, close my phone and pee. Only, while I was peeing I heard something in the living room - where I left my phone and computer. I ran out to find that inexplicably I HAD CALLED A CO-WORKER, and they could definitely hear me peeing (I know because the next time I needed to pee, I tried to record it from the same spot, and it was audible.)

Let’s see, what other fun, embarrassing stories do I have for you? Ah, yes, I was ghosted! Mo suggested I e-meet her BFF’s brother-in-law, Pete. He was pre-vetted, which is always nice, and after chatting with him every day for 3 weeks, I could confirm that he was genuinely a decent and amusing human – which makes for a lovely distraction during a pandemic. That is until I was abruptly ghosted. I’ve had some time since to remind myself that I am a joy and a delight, and not completely pathetic, which is why I am able to now say: “There wasn’t a Tiff, it just Petered out.” *ba dum tss*

I signed Frita up for Hello Fresh for his birthday. I thought it might be a good activity while we’re all home (and maybe better than trying to find recipes to go with the pre-existing, possibly expired, ingredients in the pantry.) I think my mom was most dubious, but after a bit of anxiety from Frita, (and a brief bout of panic when he couldn’t open a jar of balsamic vinegar) it sounds like he was totally successful with three meals! Win!

On Saturday, I finally admitted I would be working from home for a while and picked up my work chair and monitor and xbox and properly set up my desk at home. Then, I stood in the street and recorded Becky taking a swing at her Nipyata. I also brought her the Christmas present that had been on my desk since December! I’m including the directions for the Nipyata below because they really were hilarious.

About a week ago, I was telling the fam that I really don’t like being told what to do. If someone asks me to do something, it is highly likely that I will say yes, but if you tell me to do something, I totally don’t want to do it. I guess I just like people recognizing that I don’t have to do anything for you. It’s a fine line, but imperative for me.

Me: Hey Zach, Sooooo I am starting to read HP. Was there a reason you wanted me to read it again?

Zach: When we were talking about work, you said as soon as someone told you to do something you automatically hated it. So, I was testing your hypothesis… so are you hating the books?

Ugh… Jerk tried to ruin reading and HP for me! He is so lucky it didn’t work.

I was telling some friends this on Sunday, and then we were talking about when we all moved out here, and that Dr. Rach arrived in 2005.

Me: I told you before then, though, that we were going to be best friends. Did me telling you that make you not want to be BFF’s?

Rach: No, I liked it.

Me: So, it was more like a prophecy.

Then I sent her this. Which is pretty much exactly how things went down.

https://vm.tiktok.com/TxJwAT/

Tried to go back in time, but not much happened….

May 2019

Clearly, I was going on a first date this week a year ago because this exchange happened:

Him: Not far but I’m not familiar with it. I know of some around my area/place. So I guess you gotta come here.

Me: Where are you thinking? Ideally some where really public and busy in case you’re a murderer.