Sweet and Sarcastic: July 2020

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Pawed Hard

Update 7/20 – 7/26

Hi Friend!

Walking and working – that continues to be the summary of my life. Percy is sleeping and walking but looking super cute while he does it, so that’s worth sharing! I wasn’t cooking before it started getting hot out, but now I don’t even want to warm things up – so I’m all about salads, yogurt and cottage cheese. Funny thing about cottage cheese: Percy loves it. He hates nearly all other foods, but if he smells me open up cottage cheese he’s salivating (figuratively of course – less you think him a slobbery mess). I also started using Noom, but found I was developing a bit of an eating disorder, so I’m still using bits of it, but trying to focus on exercise in an attempt to get healthy and apologize for the alcohol abuse I put it through for the first couple of months of quarantine. This means I call Maureen a lot to make her entertain me – lucky her! I thought about getting myself a Fit Bit to remind me to walk around every hour, but then realized I finally got Percy to STOP annoying me to move around every hour, so I decided to just do a mental estimate. (That’s the same thing, right?)

Did I tell you I saved a dogs life at the park the other day and they rewarded me by scratching the side of my door? They got loose in the parking lot so I stopped all the traffic and got it to go toward the park and its owner – and then saw the damage when I got home. I left the paw prints for over a week so that “people” would realize that the scratches were not my fault. I don’t know who these people are, but clearly they are nosy and judgmental. I had to let it go though, because I was headed to a baby parade (a parade to see a baby, not a bunch of babies rolling around), and wanted to have my car shiny before I headed over. The parade was not as I was expecting, but then again, I was expecting Diana to hold up Valeria above her head a la Simba in the Lion King as we rolled by. If you ask me, that would have been epic – especially if it had a sweet sound track to accompany it. (BDug, I know you don’t get this reference… sorry, not sorry.)

I spent the weekend hanging out with D&J, in and out of the lake and pool. We got to meet Lynn & Marc’s new pup. Lynn and Marc kept their distance, luckily, Bella did not. Jordan joined Dawne and I on the big blue floating mat, but only just a lil longer than his first foray – I have a feeling he doesn’t get the same joy as we do from the wet instability. Percy continues to show sheer and utter joy every time we arrive at Dawne’s house, it is clearly our happy place. (He also shows confusion and distaste when we make other stops on the weekend that are not Dawne’s, especially as most other stops do not involve either of us leaving the vehicle.

My neighbor is having surgery on her shoulder in a week or two. I offered to help, and she said she might need her hair washed and wine bottles opened. I feel like that’s the least I could do – and also, we have come a LONG way since our first meeting.

We had our last (for now) “Me and My White Supremacy” meeting on Sunday – or as I have been calling it “My Supremacy meeting.” I look forward to reading something a lil more cheery (Cristi recommended “An Elderly Lady is Up to No Good – so that’s on the top of the list!) before diving back into my next learning experience – but I am grateful for open-minded and supportive friends who encouraged me to dig deep, learn, and do better. Even if I was the crier of the group. (Shocking!)

Speaking of Cristi, Viv was explaining to how she manipulates her Plague Rat hand puppet and said, “…then my thumb and single-lady finger work the arms…” haha Yes!

And on that note, here are some fun things I saw this week on the internets and a quick trip down memory lane… 2017 style.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/jhxuHFoSB7MqdKN3A

In 2017, Becky broke her shoulder. When I asked if I could help, Becky asked if I would swing by at lunch and cut up a watermelon for her. As I was cutting up said watermelon, I saw the irony that she would ask the one friend she had that is terrible at cutting things to cut up an entire watermelon – but at least I did better job than she could do. #thatisnotsayingmuch

And then that same week, Becky got me a food handling license so that I could make snow cones and popcorn at a kids carnival (much much easier than the cutting task.)

Clearly, a Becky filled week, because we wrapped up the week going to see Smash Mouth and the Spin Doctors. I get that it might not be terribly chic, but it was an amazing concert – even if the lead of Smash Mouth was totes hammered.

Love you!

Mean it.

T O’B

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Ugly Fruit

Update July 6 – July 26

Hi All!

My world has been consumed by work, which makes Tiffany a very dull girl, and also made it hard to find time for an update. However, Tiffany in the Time of Covid is trying to be more forgiving, and less judgmental, especially to myself, so we’re going to just lump these guys together and move on!

First, Diana had a baby! Valerie Adele and she’s another perfect daughter addition!

On Monday the 6^th, I was making a cauliflower pizza and in the process of taking my pizza out of the oven I accidentally dropped it on the floor but then I was thinking “the cleaning people just cleaned this floor, so it’s probably clean enough to eat” so I picked it up. As I went to put it on the counter, I accidentally knocked over a flower vase (I have no idea why the flower vase was there) but it broke - like it chipped a little bit - so I picked up the glass and wiped the counter down, put the pizza on the cardboard on the counter and then I went to cut it and eat it and after I ate two slices of pizza, I saw a little chunk of glass on the cardboard which made me think I should probably stop eating this pizza and maybe ask Rachel if I am going to die from this.

Me: I think I just consumed some glass. What is my survival rate?

Rach: Low

Spoiler alert, I beat the odds!

The rest of the week was basically all work with the dog park being my only shining moment of the day, then I did a social distance hang with Dr. Rach and Anders and got the COOLEST GIFT EVER of the Illustrated Harry Potter book – so now I have to read them all over again. (I have got these for a couple of kiddos in my life, but they were always too extravagant for me to buy them for myself.) And Dr. Rach had chocolate filled marshmallows, which were kinda amazing when roasted. 😊 Hung out with fam on Saturday (most of which was in the pool, not going to lie.)

I got a book from Erika a couple of years back, called “The Royal We” and loved it so much that I think I’ve bought it a dozen times for other people. It’s funny, and light and makes me happy. I also pre-ordered the sequel, so when it arrived I wanted to really enjoy it. So two Sundays ago I read the first book AND the second book, and it was pretty much the perfect day.

Then I had a week of work and dog park, followed by me falling asleep on Friday at like 9 and then being wide awake at 4 am. It’s so amazing what you can do if you’re a morning person! Like I worked out, and walked, and cleaned the kitchen, and got groceries delivered, all before I headed over to D&J’s for summer fun time.

Zach: Oh, we tried that Ugly fruit.

Me: Do you mean imperfect produce?

Nate: Ugly Fruit doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

Zach: Do you know why Root beer used to be illegal?

Lucas: Sarsaparilla was used in both root beer and in alcohol?

Zach: Well another reason is if aged it would turn into alcohol.

Dawne: Why does Lucas’ fact sound more true?

Several minutes later:

Jordan: we once saw two eagles fly right at each other, connect and then spin on their way down. I’m not sure if it was a mating ritual or a fight.

Zach: Eagles can only penetrate when they are free falling.

Lucas: Just like Tom petty.

Nater: that also sounds made up

Zach: imma look it up - it’s the first result!

Dawne: what did you search for “falling eagle sex?”

Zach: Yes!

On Sunday, I drove over to D&J’s, but got there while they were out, so Percy spent an hour being mad at me for bringing him to a house without his people in it. I did not complain about chilling on the deck on comfy furniture while I chatted with Momela tho. Then we took the boat out. It was really hot out, so we planned on having our first jump into the lake. I jumped in first and it was HELLA cold. Percy leapt in after me, same to me and quickly back to the boat with a look of, “Um, Nutter? Did you forget we have a warm pool back at the house?”

Me: Dawne, it is really cold. You do NOT need to jump in.

Dawne (jumps in and emerges): Oh Shit! It’s cold.

Me: I told you!

Jordan (jumps in and emerges): Oh Shit! It’s cold.

Percy (Seriously, guys, that’s not bright.)

We then grabbed a snack and chatted with Mo who told me that she was showing Frita the Fit Bit I got her. She told him, if he likes it and wants it, he should totally ask Tiffany for one. Later, Dawne and I took this big inflatable mat out for the first time. I got it for her for her birthday, and we were waiting for the lake to warm up (it was warmer on the edges.) Jordan observed (mostly to make sure we were being safe) and then went up to the house. Much later, Dawne said to Aunt Pat and Lindsay, “Yeah, if you ever want something but you can’t afford it, ask Tiffany!” I sense a theme going on…

And then we warmed up with some pool time, followed by me making everyone toaster quesadillas for the win!

Okay! And here are my little random things I liked on the internet:

Sharing Shana’s update:

Ladies and Gentlemen, my mother...

Mom: can you help me throw this rug on the railing to dry?

Me: Sure

Mom: Okay, it's REALLY slippery. So be sure to let me know if you're going to fall because I don't want to miss it.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/eRfbim48xBrdE6HU6

Oh, this was just something I thought was helpful for your conspiracy theory friends:

http://thetruetruetruth.com

2019

Experienced my first earthquake (that I swear I talked into happening because I was like what do we do if there is an Earthquake for three days straight and then woke up to one and had to ask Facebook if anyone else felt the same thing.)
Went to a sounders game.
Didn’t experience a heat wave.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/igvdp1nhtrH3rrSB9

2018

I took one of my favorite pictures of Casper and Percy ever while on the boat.
Erika, Kenny and their 4 adorable children came to visit – and honestly, it was over far too quickly.
Aunt Pat had an accident, breaking both of her legs. I’m glad I can tell this story now, because while it was terrifying, the good news is that she made a full recovery and is doing great now!
I was at SDCC.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/yPaNnPVrAczdcvep7

2017

I met RL Stine (he looked thrilled)
I convinced Rach to let Kelly take a pick of Emmett in Hogwarts gear.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/ZMHB5SF3o3W6puME6

Can anyone decipher these ancient notes? Because it must have been hilarious…

Notes from 7/17-7/23 2017

What? I didn't order this! (after Joey couldn't carry it all )

Get your tall ass into the front seat.

Notes from 7/10-7/16 2017

Mad money

Much Love,

T O’B

Tuesday, July 7, 2020

'Merica during the time of Covid

Update: 6/29 – 7/5

Hi Friend!

Most of my week consisted of an epic yet brief road trip. I say epic because we saw a whole bunch of really gorgeous national parks and drove over 2000 miles but brief because we did that in four days.

Dawne and Jordan and Lucas had been driving for two weeks (picking up Aunt Pat half way) so I was kind of a late comer to the party. I also slept in the back of my jeep renegade which turned out to be pretty comfortable. The first night we stayed at Antelope Island in Salt Lake and there were bison roaming. Like there was a bison 15 feet from our picnic table and then he meandered past our campground towards a site that had a hitch but not people and he circled that area checking it out. Being on an island, that site was gorgeous and provided a lovely sunrise and sunset. I don’t get to see a lot of sunrises but Percy stood guard (and I mean literally stood on me all night) looking for possible bison attacks and then we woke up finally at five and walked around watching the sunrise.

We continued on to Jackson Hole Wyoming and the Grand Tetons (it was so hard not going into all the adorable shops in Jackson Hole, but there were far too many people so we just drove around.) Then through Yellowstone National Park, stayed over in Montana and then home!

At one point the RV toilet started to overflow and Jordan ran to get the bucket that Dawne had packed and after it was all cleaned up, Dawne gets out of the bathroom and she says, “I got to be honest the best part of this whole thing was when Jordan saw the water and yelled, “Go get the mop!!” Like what mop? Who packed a mop?!”

Dawne really did think of everything though and I was telling Rachel before we left that it was weird traveling with someone who was so prepared because I’m usually the one that is over prepared and I wasn’t sure what to bring. Rachel then said “now you know how it feels.” #truestory. I still packed a lot but in reality the only thing that I brought that I didn’t use was a towel because I never showered. (Seeing as I shower every day normally, this was a big deal for me.)

We saw a sign for “school of appropriate technology” so that provided for hours of fun.

I saw a bumper sticker on a truck that was in the outline of the state of Idaho and inside where the words “fuck off we’re full” #delightful

While we were waiting for old faithful to erupt I heard a small child ask “is that a fire?”

Lucas and I blasted music for the most part during our journey although during the 12 hours I had on my own getting to Salt Lake City I listen to Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead and then proceeded to talk about that book for much of the trip. I am always so impressed with the depth and breadth of knowledge that Lucas has for music. He’s always pointing something out or just saying “nice!” And then later when the song is done explaining how impressive a certain cord or note or whatever was in the song. Oh, also my car is so cool! I can play the music from Luke’s phone and have the map for driving from my phone at the same time!!

We did come home a day early, but that just meant I got to relax on Sunday, most of which was spent in the pool. And then I came home and washed my sleeping bag and watched Last Man Laughing - so kind of a perfect holiday weekend!